I've born a life into God's hands, something I never thought I would do. We've lost a baby to miscarriage, and I'm just so sad that for whatever reason God decided this baby was better off in His arms than in mine. I'm not angry, just very sad. Sad that I won't see this little person's fingers or toes, or hear how he would laugh. Sad that Jack is a big brother but no one knows it. Sad because my womb harbored life for several weeks, and now all of the sudden it's empty. It aches for my baby.
If anything, the loss of this baby has put my focus more on heaven, reminding me that every day my goal has to be heaven so that I can meet my little saint. I know I'll hold him one day, but I'm sad that day is so far away.
Our family has a new little patron saint in heaven. I know he has several friends to play with, and I take comfort in knowing that my Pops is probably keeping him entertained, sitting him in his lap and teaching him how to play piano until I arrive to scoop him up and give him the big hug I want so badly to give to him.
Please pray for Ryan and me, as we grieve this loss... In my womb for a few short weeks, but forever in ours hearts. We named him Samuel. St. Samuel, pray for us!