"When given instructions, Joseph unquestioningly and humbly believed and obeyed. Limited by his scope of knowledge of what was to come and regardless of the outcome, Joseph chose to obey." (from today's devotion at Blessed is She)
I woke up this morning and read this reflection before I invited the kids to come downstairs for the day. I'd already had a rough morning; Caeli woke me up violently screaming in my face for a reason unbeknownst to me, so we got off to a rough start. (Truthfully, she's just started this new scream of hers in the past week since we've night weaned. I'd like to think it's unrelated but part of me wonders...)
After I read the reflection, I vowed to obey today without questioning God, as a sacrifice to offer up for dear friends who are in need of prayer right now (one just diagnosed with stomach cancer, would you please pray for her and her family?). I had also wanted to create a dinner feast for my husband, on this day, in honor of the patron of holy fathers and in honor of the wonderful father Ryan is to our children.
My intentions were good but unfortunately things didn't get better for me. Crazy hormones left me feeling like the worst mother in the world and I felt crippled. I was not going to be productive woman I had planned to be. Some mornings I just need to turn on an audiobook and retire to my bedroom to be as alone as possible, and this was one of those days.
But Ryan had scheduled a visit to the local parish so the three of us could receive the sacrament of penance, and we met him up there. It took everything I had to make that happen. After absolution and a lengthy (well-deserved) penance, the boys handed me some flowers and Ryan smiled, took me aside, and told me I had the afternoon off and handed me the keys to his truck. He piled the kids in the car and took off, and just like that I was alone until 7 pm. Six whole hours.
On the verge of tears I drove off and devised my plan for the day. Lunch, errand running, and some quiet time. It all worked out perfectly and I came home to a clean house, happy kids in their pajamas, and a yummy dinner ready for me.
This guy. On the day I wanted to honor him. There just aren't words.