Children

Today I took the kid's to my Grandma's house for a little lunch and visit. I'm so blessed to be less than 15 minutes from her and to have the opportunity to visit pretty much whenever we want! We enjoyed the lovely breeze outside while Bethany and Luke took turns playing on the tree swing that my Grandfather slung over a tree limb I don't even know how many years before. I commented to her that I loved to see them play like that together, both giggling and laughing with joy...

...Until I gave them the dreaded two minute warning. It was nearing time for us to go home, and I don't usually compromise when it comes to missing naptimes. After two minutes I called for them to come to me and Beth melted down, completely and miserably. I mean this was The Works, screaming, kicking, yelling NO at me, even a couple attempts at hitting me. (This is incredibly unusal behavior for her, and part of me wants to attribute it to her celiac but mostly I think it's just because she's 3-going-on-13.) I had to strap her into the car seat before I could get the boys in, there was not an ounce of cooperation on her part. She cooled down on the way home and had a nap today, I know she's been tired because I hear her jump out of her bed at 6:45 most mornings!

The rest of the day went fine, very well I'd venture to say. Tonight before bed time she and I spent a little extra time rocking. My girl needed some extra hugs and I indulged her, not wanting her to fall asleep thinking about what went wrong today. We talked a little about the meltdown, I asked her what I could have done to help her feel better and obey Mommy better, and she offered her advice (to ask her nicely to get into the car). We agreed that tomorrow we'd each use nice words with each other.

I then explained to her that God gave her to me to be her Mommy, and that she had to learn to obey Mommy and Daddy while she's little so that one day, when she's bigger, she could obey God. I told her that Mommy and Daddy obey God right now because we learned how to obey our parents when we were little. She asked me why we have to obey God and I said that God gives us rules to keep us safe- just like Mommy and Daddy gives her rules to keep her safe. Like not playing on the staircase. She seemed to understand in a way that almost-4-year-olds can.

I think our talk went pretty well, and we finished off our time together by talking about the fun things we would do tomorrow. As I was rocking her in silence I could feel her little body get heavier, and I prayed that God would help me fall head-over-heels into love with her even more. I love my children more than anything, but even on challenging days like today it's hard to see them for what they are- children- and not take their fights personally. I know she doesn't tell me "no" because she's trying to drive me insane, I know she's asserting her independence and testing my limits. Still, it's hard to think about that in the heat of the moment of a heated and very loud argument! Before I carried her to bed, she told me that she loves me more than anything in the entire world, and I cried. That makes it all worth it.