Theo's Heart Update!

At 20 weeks, Theo was due for his third appointment with his pediatric cardiologist.  This checkup was routine and since we had been given good news at his checkup in December, I didn't feel too concerned that we would receive bad news.  In retrospect that may have been a little arrogant of me, but personally, I really can't dedicate too much of my brain power to worrying about that which is out of my control, either.

Since Theo's diagnosis of a VSD, he has been on a daily dose of Lasix to help rid the excess fluid from around his heart, so it didn't have to work extra-hard to pump blood.  This was supposed to help with potential inflammation.  In December, his heart was a bit swollen, but at his appointment last Monday, the swelling was gone and it measured perfectly for his age.  What wonderful news!  His EKG measured normal and his echo-cardiogram indicated the VSD hole is still closing.  It is shaped like a funnel, in the septum between his ventricles.  The tip of the septum is developing a flap of skin to close it off, so eventually it will not allow blood to pass through it anymore.  This may take a couple more years but as long as Theo is not having any symptoms (turning blue, weight loss, trouble nursing/eating) then he can just keep up a "normal" life! 

I think this is a great diagram that I pulled from stanfordchildrens.org that explains the heart anatomy and shows exactly where the hole is and how it's effects.  Imagine a funnel-shape of skin extending into the left ventricle- this is how Theo is healing!  There are some peripheral issues that could become problems that would warrant surgery, but at this point he doesn't seem to have any of those problems, praise God!

He's a robust almost-16 pound goober who is starting to chew on his toes and detest sleeping anywhere but Mommy's arms.  Sounds like a typical 5-month-old to me!

Sleeping Boy

At almost four months old, Theo takes several naps a day still, usually about 45 minutes for each nap.  This is pretty much the same as how the other kids slept, so it's what I'm used to!  While his naps aren't long, he usually wakes up pretty happy so I can't complain. Usually I swaddle him tightly, give him his Nuk, and walk him around my room for a few minutes.  He passes out relatively quickly and I lay him in the same little rocker that Caeli had.  Sometimes I'll lay him down in our bed, depending on the time of day.  Theo may sleep a little longer in the afternoons, especially if I go lay down and join him for a nap!  Most days this doesn't happen but I try to make it happen if he hasn't had enough cuddle time with me or I feel like we both need to rest and reconnect.  Napping next to this sweet little boy is just one of the most pleasurable things I've ever had the privileget of doing!

For my records, we weighed him a couple of weeks ago and he was 13 lbs 13 oz.  He's outgrowing his size 6-month clothing (that I just bought for him a few weeks ago!).  I tried cloth diapers for a few days but realized I'm not up to it right now!  Maybe we will try again when he is a bit older.  He is starting to like his pacifier more but prefers to stick all of his fingers in his mouth instead!  He's so very slobbery right now, but just has the best gummy grin! 

In Need of Some Extra Love

Every now and then we go through a phase in our house where Ryan and I get busy, burnt out, or somehow become oblivious to the specific needs of each of the kids.  Lately, a combination of all three perhaps, has left one little boy feeling a little off.  How do I know he's off?  The usual sweet, chipper nature of this goofy little guy has disappeared, and a whining guy who has been the root of many arguments and "accidents" has appeared.

I might blame it on his age.  I might blame it on an upcoming growth spurt.  I could very easily blame it on him being a boy.  But when I start trouble-shooting bad tempers around here, I start with his basic needs and how I'm meeting them.

1. Has he been eating well?  Well, this one has always had strong preferences for food.  He likes only a few things and I don't think I'm feeding him enough fats and proteins, so I'm going to try to let him have more control over his own diet.  (He's always been the kind of kid who needs to choose his own path in his own time- apparently he needs to fill up his own plate too.)  
2. How has he been sleeping?  I don't think he was meant to be an early rise like his brother.  He's been sleeping in more lately (since Luke has not been waking him up!) and that seems to help.  So we need to positively encourage and remind Luke to honor his brother's sleeping habits.  (Luke's the kind of kid who responds 100x better to positive affirmation rather than correction.) 
3. How is his health?  This I'm not positive about.  I need to get a weight on him and check his growth on the chart.  I feel like he's not as big as his brother was at this age, and that he'd a little pale and slim.  But it's been winter and he hasn't been eating well, so maybe some sun and ice cream will do him some good!
4. What else is going on?  This year he's adjusted to having a baby sister.  Initially it wasn't a big deal, but I feel like as the first year went on I could tell he needed some extra Mommy time.  I'd try to fit in some extra cuddles, extra one-on-one reading time, and game time while the older kids are listening to an audio book.  He's still a little kid while Luke has moved up to the older kid realm in some senses.  I've pushed him through his toddlerhood and pre-k years, not intentionally, and he's probably just fine because he is a little precocious in my opinion. ;-)  But I can't push him into growing up.  He needs mama time, and I can't deny him of that.  He needs to know he's safe with me.  These past few months we've had a few incidents of him trying to be independent where he clearly still needs adult help, and it's not gone over well.  I still need to coddle him, baby him, and tell him I love him in a sappy voice- even if he giggles and says, "Mom, stop it!" with smiling eyes and his long lashes.

He's a kid who needs to forage his own path.  He has strong preferences about food, clothing, what books he likes, and when and how he will play or learn.  I really can't make him do anything- it's got to seem like it was his idea.  He likes to tuck in his shirts (even t-shirts into basketball shorts) and he likes to dip everything into mustard.  He REALLY wants a baseball-themed birthday party even though the kid has never played or really even seen a baseball game in his whole life!  He absolutely refused to ever go to Sunday School until one day he said, "I want to go today," and he's been every day since then.  I've known since the moment of his conception that God has great plans for him.  It's my job to take these traits and quirks of his and help mold and shape them into something for God's greater glory.  And right now, at 4 years and 10.5 months old, he needs to be a little boy for a bit longer.

I've re-committed myself to babying him.  To pay more attention to what he's feeling, how he's holding up when we're having long days, making sure he's getting the time and attention he needs, and making sure he's eating well and enough.  I can't put a time period on it but I think about a month of some intense Mommy attention will do this boy some good.  Then, the boy will be five years old, I'll probably cry some big fat "Where has my chunky baby gone?!" tears, we can have a fun summer, and we can start talking about kindergarten!

Swinging very high on park swings can turn anyone's day around.

Caeli is 6 months old!

Half a year old?  Already?  Stop, time.  Stop passing.  I'm not ready for this one to grow up.

I want to remember this toothless, enthusiastic smile forever.

Every person- seriously, everyone- that we meet comments on how happy she is!  No, she doesn't really cry.  (Well, she's cried a few times, and mostly recently when she's fallen over from a sitting up position.)  She hardly even fusses!  I think we've both been really good at figuring this kid out and getting her down for a nap at the right time (before she's overtired and overstimulated), and I think she has a lot of activity going on to entertain her. ;-)  She doesn't nurse as frequently as the other kids did, and she goes to sleep a lot easier.  In fact, she's still sleeping with us, because she's the first kid who nurses and then rolls over and goes to sleep on her own without touching me.  And she wakes up only two or three times during the night, going back to sleep very quickly.  It's pretty amazing, and I now understand how parents bedshare for such a long time.  It's really pleasant when the baby isn't constantly needing to touch you or nurse all night long!  I remember being so over-stimulated with the other kids and needing to have my space.  It's been quite a different experience this time.

The big question I wonder is why?  Why is she so different? Ryan and I are always looking for the cause... We can speculate all we want but I'm sure we'll never know.  My pregnancy was healthier than with the other kids. Her birth wasn't any different from the boy's births.  Her infancy wasn't any different than Jack's.  She's been wearing her amber necklace since she was about 6 weeks old and she has 3 big siblings to help care for and entertain her.  Maybe I'm less worn out because the other kids are older and I'm a more experienced mom?

First food- a bit of Earth's Best mixed grain cereal mixed with breastmilk  We will be practicing baby-led weaning again, but we decided (based on current research) that she needed to have some gluten before she was 6 months old.

Over all I think it's a combination of who she is and my decision to just let things go.  To toss out the parenting and sleep books and just do what God created me to do.  To trust my experience and mama instinct.  To listen to my heart and not worry about what anyone else thinks I "should" be doing. 

As you can see, there is no shortage of things to play with in our house!

Mentally I'm in such a great place.  In fact, I don't think I've been better, and while I've always been a confident parent I've had many days when I didn't feel like myself.  I guess I was trying to figure out who I was as a mother- and to a certain extent I guess I'll always be trying to discern God's call for us. 

Sleepy baby

"They" said that the fourth kid is easier than the rest, and so far that's truly been absolutely correct!  Having the first was the most difficult for me, adding the second wasn't too bad, adding the third was harder, but the fourth has been a breeze and a joy!

I wonder if the fifth is even easier? :-)

Sitting up and rolling over

Caeli rolled over for the first time while Uncle Matthew was visiting in May- she was 4.5 months!  WHAT?  I really don't remember the other kids rolling over so early- maybe I'm just old and forgetful but that seems kind of early, right?  Well, she's on the move now- she will roll from one side of the room to the other if she wants to get something.

This video is her second time to roll over.  Of course I missed the first time!

I pulled out the bumbo seat for her around then too, and we realized she was already pretty strong.  Right now, at almost 6 months old, she's a very strong sitter and will sit for 15-20 minutes in the play room, tinkering with a toy and watching everyone else play.

I'm so happy she's healthy and strong, but she's growing up too quickly for this mama!

Six Weeks Old

At six weeks old, this baby has stolen all of our hearts!

I know I keep saying it, but time is flying by.  I've come to realize, after everyone has been saying it to me for weeks and weeks, that she looks like Luke.  At first I didn't see it- at first I think she looked more like Jack and Beth! But as she's gotten older she favors Luke.  And OH is he SO proud of that!  He loves hearing people say she looks like him, I think it makes him feel some sort of big brother ownership of her.  I love seeing the softer side of him when he's around her! 

She still does not like her car seat, even though I've calmly explained to her that screaming won't get her out any sooner!  It breaks my heart, but at least I know- now that she's older- that she's not in pain, just extremely displeased.  My poor love.  We cuddle and give lots of kisses when we get to our destination.

She's sleeping well at night and her naps are pretty predictable during the day, but staying asleep is a problem!  It's hard to stay asleep with three big siblings in the next room having so much (loud) fun!  On the whole I certainly can't complain.  We have great days, good days, and not-so-good days occasionally, but at least I am sleeping at night! 

She smiles all the time at anyone willing to talk to her, and she captivates me.  I can't wait to hear her laugh- although I have a feeling that next milestone is just around the corner.  Okay, I CAN wait... I wish she'd stay little like this forever.  Why do babies have to grow up???

Here she is, laying on her blanket made by her great-grandma, which arrived today!  Thank you Grandma!

 

My babies.  I can't get over the noise and energy in our home right now... It's a lot some days, I'm not going to lie!  But I keep hearing that the days are long but the years are short, so I'm really trying to take that to heart.  It's so true for me.  Just looking at my old blog posts, at each of the other kids when they were babies.  They were so sweet and tiny and...quiet, compared to now. ;-) 

Moving into Fall

Where to start... The past two weeks have been busy with family, friends, school, and work!  I made the drive into the city 6 times over a two-week period, four trips for doula business and two for personal business.  I have major respect for people who commute into the city for work, because although I wasn't traveling at peak rush hours, my back hurt after all that time in the car!

One of those trips was a special day for Beth and me, when I took her to a ballet performance as part of a field trip with some other members of our homeschool group, then she and I had lunch at a gluten-free restaurant in town.  The boys stayed home with Grandma and Grandpa!

 

Four of those trips were for business- I had my first (and only!) birth in the med center.  It was a great experience, working there, but it's just too far for me to travel so I don't think I'll be taking any more births down there, unless it was for a special friend!  Another two trips were for our local fair about all things birth and babies.  On Friday I was CPR trained and Saturday a friend and I drove to attend the fair and hear different talks.  It was a good weekend but WOW was I tired after driving like that two days in a row!

Jack's Baby

Over the past few weeks my nursing relationship has changed with Jack.  We've gone from nursing 6-8 times a day- which was really wearing on me because I couldn't even sit down without him wanting to nurse- to nursing about once a day now.  My absence from him during our trip to Vegas left him unsure about continuing nursing, but once he picked it back up again we were both just fine, nursing 3-4 times a day.  That seemed to work really well for both of us.

Luke

Luke is almost 3.5.  Wha wha whaaat?  He has gone through and recently come out of a growth spurt... I say "come out of a growth spurt" because it's like he was a tea kettle, slowly simmering.  For months he was simmering... he discovered how to test my every boundary and push every limit I've ever placed on him.  It wasn't a great time for him and me, I've realized that he and I are a LOT alike in some ways and it's made it very difficult for me to discipline him when he can get into my head!  It's like he knows what I'm going to say and he knows exactly how to ignore me while annoying the heck out of me!  It's kind of crazy that over the past month, the steam from his tea kettle has been released and he's now functioning very well at a new level.  He and I are both functioning well together.

How do I know that he's over this growth spurt?  For one, his physical body has grown.  His foot grew about a size and a half and his body has thinned out and looks more like a big kid and less like a toddler.  In fact, I was wondering if Jack had gained some weight or something because their body builds are very different right now!

Year In Review

I've been feeling very contemplative lately, like an end-of-the-year post might do me some good. :-)

2011 marked a few big events, the first one that comes to my mind is the conception and loss of our sweet baby.  I still think about him daily, and some days are a lot harder than others.  It's hard thinking of what should have been, like that I'd soon be entering my third trimester.  But, it's also comforting for me to know that we have a little saint in heaven praying for us!

Jack

Jackson Paul

{almost 15 months}

Likes:

dancing

wrestling

climbing

 belly buttons

eating yogurt, chex, and crackers

turning off and on lighswitches

standing on his head

books

Doesn't Like:

sleeping

  napping

staying still

being away from mommy

toys stolen away from him

What I Want to Remember:

sweet snuggles before bedtime

nursing moments, jack twirling my hair around his fingers while i kiss his toes

carrying the stool to the bookshelf, climbing high to reach books

running to grab his shoes when he hears the word "outside"

primitive words: "ball" "up" "ma" more"

his long tuft of hair that always sticks up in the back

11 Months!

On his 11 month birthday, let the record show he took two steps alone. :-)

We've been tempting him to walk and he's soooo very close, and yesterday he actually took 2 or 3 steps unaided, several times.  Today he might have done it once or twice.  He's not ready to take off yet, but I have a feeling it will be soon!

The boy is still very passionate about life.  I don't recall Beth or Luke being such little turkeys!  Jack is insistent on his way, whether he wants a bite of what I'm eating, wants to crawl back to where I've just removed him from, or he wants the toy that big brother or big sister just snatched from him.  In any case, he will holler and make his displeasure known! 

He's still so smiley all of the time.  And he still cuddles with me, which makes me very happy!  And... he's sleeping through the night!  He has been for a couple of weeks now, but he wakes up very early, usually at 6:15 am (sometimes earlier).  We let him crawl around in bed with us or on the floor in our room, but lately I've just been having to get up with him because he's screeching or pulling on cords or causing destruction. 

Have I mentioned he loves electrical cords and outlets?  Or that he can crawl up the entire staircase?  He eats more than Beth and Luke combined, nurses up a storm, has six teeth, and plays peek-a-boo with me.  His favorite "game" is playing on the bed or on the sofa, he gets very silly and falls and rolls around and laughs.  Over the past couple of days, I've also noticed that when I'm going to unbuckle him from his carseat, he's trying to push on the button to unbuckle himself.  Silly little boy!

9 months

Jackson, at 9 months old, you are the cutest baby in the world!  Your smile melts me, those four little teeth you use to bite me are also somehow pretty stinking cute!  You are such a fast little crawler, and you put everything on God's green earth into your mouth... This exhausts me!  We can hear a primitive "Dada" and "Mama" although we're waiting for the real thing, and I know you understand us because you look at us when we call your name and you definitely understand when Mama signs "more?" or "nurse?"  You're sleeping pretty well, waking up once or twice a night and your naps are finally resembling something we can all live with.  Most of the time!  Love, when you sleep, you are the happiest little guy ever!  We come downstairs and I notice you looking around for Beth and Luke, and when you see them you dance a little, waving your arms up and down and nearly jumping out of my arms to play next to them on the floor!  You love your big sister and big brother, and they love you so much!  We all do baby, we all love you so much!

He crawls!

crayons on the floor! full speed ahead!

Eight months and four days old and the little one crawls!  Monday was the big day for take-off.  He almost literally went from 0-60, Sunday not able to crawl an inch and Monday crawling all the way across this kitchen floor.  Of course, to the dog's water bowl.  Of course.

Stats for Jack

We took Jackson to the doctor this morning for his six-month checkup, and the stats aren't what you think! He's 18 lbs 10 oz and 27 inches, which means his growth has slowed down quite a bit! He's in the 68th percentile for height and weight. He seems to have eczema on his back, it's really red and patchy but it doesn't seem to bother him. I have a few baby food items to start feeding him, but first I need to pump some milk to mix in with his wheat cereal, so maybe we'll start on Saturday?

6 months old

Ahhhh, six months old! Already!

Jack has been my "Oh really?" baby. Every time I think I know it all about parenting, he says, "Oh really?" and does the complete opposite of what I expect! Every time I think I've got this parenting thing down, he teaches me something new. He's been my first easy and quick labor, my first big baby, my first baby who slept perfectly from day 1 (only to stop sleeping perfectly at month 4), my first early teether, my first biter (maybe those two go hand-in-hand?), and the first time I haven't wanted my baby to grow up.

He's already taught me so much about humility! About not judging other moms or other babies...Because really, apparently after 3 kids, I don't know it all.

At 6 months, Mr. Jackson is:
-rolling both ways
-sitting up
-showing preference to mommy
-not sleeping well. sleeping very poorly, in fact, waking up a million times a night and usually waking up to hang out with mommy and daddy from 8-10 pm!
-experiencing his first cold- he's currently congested and hoarse!
-enjoying watching Beth and Luke play
-nursing a lot, no solids yet
-napping 2-3 times a day
-sporting 1 tooth!



It seems this six months has flown by waaaay faster than I remember with Beth and Luke. I know with them I was looking forward to the next milestone, waiting for them to sit up, crawl, walk... This time, I just want him to stay a baby! I don't want to start feeding him solids, I can't believe it's time to start The Bedtime Routine (famous at our house), and I can tell he's ready to grow up. He's ready to jump right in and play with Beth and Luke (we've seen him try to push up and crawl, and try to pull up to stand already!), he grabs everything I'm holding, eyeballs my food like he wants a big bite, and loves taking baths.


Some days I truly feel like he might be my last baby, and that's why I'm reluctant to let him grow up. But I can't hold him back either! He's had a slightly different babyhood than Beth and Luke had already (like not having his own room yet, by this age we'd been putting Beth and Luke to sleep in their own cribs and bringing them to our rooms in the middle of the night), but it's been better in some ways and worse in other ways. I love cosleeping with Jack, I just wish he's actually sleep!

I'm anxious to see what the next six months bring, but I hope they go by slowly!

5 months

Jackson was 5 months old a few days ago, my update was lost in the holiday weekend! This past month has been filled with changes; this guy has become my little monkey baby! To me, this is part of the passage from infancy to babyhood. I no longer have to carry him like an infant, instead I can steadily carry him around in one arm while he clings to me! He absolutely adores my hair, Beth did too. :-) He grabs the hair on the back of my neck, usually pulling it out of a pony tail, and holds tight as if it's going to keep him from falling off of me! He clings to my clothing and even my face if he can grab it, though his preference right now biting and sucking on my chin. He bites hard! I wonder if he'll cut teeth earlier than Beth and Luke did? He looks huge in his little blue baby bath tub, it almost makes me laugh out loud at how big he is! He's really outgrown it but we're going to stick with it for a little longer until he can at least sit up on his own! I'm guessing he'll be sitting up around Christmas- can you even imagine? Wasn't he just born?!

2-year and 4-month appointments

Yesterday the boys had well-baby visits. They're healthy! Luke was 28 lbs even (50%) and almost 34 inches tall (32%). Jack was 18 lbs 2 oz (93%) and 25.75 inches (76%). We weighed Beth too and she was 36 lbs.

At 28 lbs, Luke still has another 6 lbs to go before we'll flip him forward-facing in his car seat! He's cutting two new teeth (lower canines) and is sooo cranky right now because of it.

Jack's starting a new thing where he cries for about 5 minutes as we're putting him to sleep but then totally passes out. It's really the only time he cries though! He's napping very predictably three times a day, an hour in the morning, about two hours in the afternoon, and 45 minutes in the early evening. He spits up so much, so we give him a bath every other day- luckily the spit up doesn't seem to hurt him though because he smiles right through it!

3 Months!

Jackson is three months old today!

This little boy isn't so little... He keeps growing! He's such a chunk and I'm loving every bit of it. Can you believe he's already trying to roll himself over? Last night he spent 20 minutes on the play mat trying to grab one of the toys hanging down, he wound up scooting himself closer to the toy with his attempted rolling and finally grabbed it and got it to his mouth. Oh yes, he's reaching and pulling now too, usually my shirt or my hair! To me, this sort of marks the end of infancy and the entrance into babyhood, which makes me kind of sad. Jack has been such a pleasant and easy baby, but he's never felt like a baby to me, probably because of his size! He's still sucking on his thumb and fingers quite a bit, and he is so incredibly slobbery and spits up quite a bit too. I never understood all those little cute bibs that came with baby outfits, I threw a bunch of them away before we moved because I thought they're pointless. Well, now I'm understanding that the point is so that when your baby spits up, you don't have to change his entire outfit! I change Jack usually three times a day because he spits up so much, and he always catches me off guard!

trying to roll, so close!

2 Months

Jack Jack is 2 months old today!

He is one slobbery boy! I don't remember Beth and Luke being so slobbery at such a young age, but Jack drools constantly now. He's also starting to prefer to be held more often, which is presenting a new challenge to me during mealtimes especially, but we're making it work. He's still all smiles and seems so close to laughing! I love that he will give huge smiles to Beth and sometimes Luke, when they're talking sweetly with him. Seeing the three of them like that just about makes up for the times when the three of them are simultaneously screaming!

For comparison's sake, here's Beth at 2 months and Luke at 2 months! Luke was 11 lbs 8 oz at two months old, hehehe. Jack was 14 lbs 2 oz last week!