My 30th Birthday Party

We celebrated my 30th birthday by throwing a huge party on Saturday, August 18.  We had over 50 people come, and my father-in-law told me at one point he counted over 25 children in our playroom alone!  We had guests inside and outside...Until it started raining hard enough that even under the tent was too wet!  WOW what an experience to have so many people inside our home... And all downstairs!

I had so much fun seeing friends that I hadn't seen all summer long, and making memories with new friends and old alike!  I am so blessed to have such loving and fun friends and family!  I'd post pictures online of my friends but I'm not sure who'd be okay with that and who wouldn't, so I'll leave the pics to before-and-after. :-)

Here are the after-party pics, ha!  That night we had a big storm and well... You'll see...

Starting Up

 This week was our kick-off into fall activities, though we won't start school until next week (Aug 27th).  Beth started ballet on Monday, she's at the same studio again and I keep having to re-count to make sure this is accurate, but this is her 4th year.  Yes, that's right!  She started when she was 2, almost 3! 

 I hesitate to say this but I think the boys will be easier this year.  We always head outside to play while Beth is in class, because the waiting room is small and the boys are better off playing outside anyway. :-)

 I didn't have a chance to take many photos of Beth since I was outside with the boys, but I took this one through the window and liked it, she looks so grownup and serious to me.  I know she's growing up, but something about her this year just makes her seem so much older.

 

 And today Luke started gymnastics again!  He is in the same age group but in a different class, with mostly boys.  He loves his class and says his favorite part is the trampoline.  He always looks like he's having tons of fun!

(he chose to pose like this on his own)

And of course, little Jack is a trooper, playing with me while his older siblings are in their classes.  He's sort of a goober, staring at me, smiling, then running away to see if I'll chase him.  At ballet he runs for the parking lot, and in gymnastics he runs to try to ring the bell that hangs on the wall for the gymnasts. You know he's laughing the whole time.  I wonder what this little boy is going to want to do when he's a bit older...

Ryan's Birthday

Birthday Brunch!  We had special chocolate chip waffles with whipped cream, and mimosas for Mommy and Daddy!

 Happy Birthday Ryan!  We love you and we hope you had a great day!  Thank you for "giving up" your birthday celebration this year so that we could have my party.  Today was all about you, from a special brunch (which made for happy kids- maybe we should always put chocolate chips in their waffles?) to a looong afternoon nap, to some lazy evening grilling and dinner.  I hope you had a nice day, despite having to do some serious post-party cleanup!  Thank you for being the "king" of our house, we love you!

A new CD, a complete surprise since I had no idea who the band was or what song they sang that Ryan liked.  I'm sort of magical though, and somehow figured it out. ;-)

A new trick!

Random picture- but I have gourds growing!  A seed from a tossed-out gourd from last fall actually grew, and it's taking over our fence.  I love it!

It goes all the way to the back gate, I've only counted a handful of actual gourds growing but there are so many flowers!

Daddy with his 3 babies. <3>

Homemade Play Doh

 I can't believe it took me so long to make our own play doh.  When Beth went gluten free, I ordered some very nice Aroma Dough, but as nice as it was it was pricey!  It's recently gotten too gross to use anymore so we tried making our own, and since we used gluten free flour and tapioca starch, it wasn't was expensive as the aroma dough, that's for sure!  I also used a few drops of lavender oil to make it smell nice.  It came our with a great texture but it's pretty sticky and while I know how to knead it without making a huge mess, the boys have a harder time and it winds up sticking to the table and all over their cookie cutters, which in turn frustrates them.  We'll need to try a new recipe soon and try to make it less sticky.

Right now

Sharing a gluten free cupcake with my gluten free girl.

Right now

Daddy has two helpers today!

Right now

How to Miss a Childhood

I've had this on my mind a lot lately, and I'll go ahead and apologize now if this post turns into a vent of sorts.  However, there's something I need to say, and where better than to say it than on my own blog where I'm the boss. ;-)

I read this article the other day, called How to Miss a Childhood.  She discusses how smart phones have pulled some Moms away from their children.  It's something that is close to my heart.

Since texting became popular a few years ago, I remember being around certain people who had their phone almost literally glued to their hands.  Not their pockets- in their hands, like it was another finger.  As soon as the phone would chime, it would be answered immediately, usually this involved the other person texting back for a few minutes, in their own little world, not hearing what I was saying and practically forgetting that we were in the same room together.  I remember how it made me feel mad, angry, and just a little worthless.  Was I not worth this person's undivided attention?  What was so much more interesting than me?

Flash forward a few years to the age of smart phones.  It seemed almost everyone I knew had a smart phone, and that just as bad if not worse than texting because you could log on to Facebook, blogs, or silly websites that are apparently more entertaining than me.  Seriously, it hurt my feelings and was insulting.

I got a smart phone in April 2011, my excuse was that it was for business.  I wanted to be able to get online for information for clients, check my emails, and access Google maps while on my way to a client's home.  But, I felt so hurt by my previous encounters with smart phone users, that I promised myself I would never be that way.  Heh.

I definitely have good days and bad days, some days I'm online more than I'd like to be but I understand the interest now.  It is seriously an addiction, and I can see how people can become obsessed with checking the latest information, as useless as some of it is.

So when I read this article and the other article she links to, I felt like I could really relate because I have been on both sides.  I have felt angry and neglected, but I'm an adult.  I can only imagine how this sort of modern neglect makes our children feel.  They don't understand that I'm checking my email or texting a friend.  They only know that I'm not listening to what I'm saying, even though I've told them so many times that I'll always be there to hear what they're saying.

When I'm tempted to check my phone, I have to consider why.  Why do I need to log on at this very second?  What is so important that I am willing to not be fully present to my children here in this moment?  Am I going to get pulled in by an interesting article and then snap at my kids if they interrupt me?  Am I going to find something I'd rather pull up on my computer?  What sort of example am I setting for my kids?  How am I influencing them positively right now?

I've considered that this is maybe the modern version of soap operas, which were so popular long ago.  (Are they still popular?)  I'm sure plenty of kids were "neglected" to Moms who wanted to watch tv, or maybe Moms who were avid book readers, or other hobbies.  I also am firmly convinced that Mommies absolutely need a break here and there during the day, so I've tried to come up with my own personal rules for my smart phone and computer usage.  (TV isn't a problem in our house since we don't have cable and I absolutely despise daytime programming!)  I wanted to share my rules here so that my friends and family can hold me accountable:

1. Respect.  Be fully present in the conversation with the person I'm engaged with, not half-surfing and half-talking.  I want the phone out of my hand so that I can give my children or my company my full attention.  Please allow me a little leeway if I'm on-call for a client!

2. Limitations.  I want to avoid using my smart phone for the purpose of anything other than a phone while my kids are I are home together during the day.  I do realize that there are times when a client may need to talk to me or I may be anticipating an important email, but Facebook, Pinterest, and other similar websites are off-limits.

3. Texting.  I'm not a huge texter but if someone wants to engage me in a conversation, please just call me.  Texting back-and-forth for an hour is probably normal, but the never-ending wonder of, "Did she text me back?" and checking my phone takes distracts me and takes me away from my kids.  So, text if you just have a quick question or statement, but I just have to stop the long conversations.  That, and I'm not on an unlimited texting plan either. ;-)

4. I will allow myself online time during the kid's rest time every day, so hopefully if you see me on Facebook that means they're resting or under someone else's care.

The purpose of all of this isn't to make my life harder or whatever, I feel like in order to be truly free to be a mother I have to set limitations for myself.  Self-control has never been a strong virtue for me!  But the other purpose is the whole golden rule thing... Treat others the way you want to be treated.  I want my kids to grow up knowing that I was there for them all the time, not just sometimes.  I want them to learn how to respect each other, and they'll learn not by what I say, but what I do. 

Please read both How to Miss a Childhood and The Children Have Spoken, and I encourage you to evaluate your own smart phone usage in your family.  Here's the question posed at the end of The Children Have Spoken:

What would your child (teenager, grandchild, significant other, friend) say if you asked, “Do you think I use my phone (Blackberry, iPad, laptop) too much?”

If you really want to know the truth, ask them. Assure your family members and friends you want to know the truth so you can begin to live more presently and more connected to them.

I am scared to ask my children.  They have elephant's memories and could probably tell me every time I was on my phone for the last year!  I am hoping that I won't be scared to ask them, maybe around Christmas I can ask them if they've seen improvement.

I don't want to miss anymore.  Some of my memories of their childhood are so foggy, probably from the baby blues I was dealing with, but I don't want to miss anymore of their childhoods.  These days are going by too quickly.  And I don't want to miss anymore moments with these special babies.

Our Kids

A couple of weeks ago I tried to get some good photos of the kids to use in a canvas art project.  I didn't get exactly what I was hoping to get but some of the pics are okay.  I mean, it's hard to get a bad photo when your subjects are super cute. ;-)  

 

(I like this one because it's easy to see that the gap between Beth and Luke is slowly closing!  I'm not sure how tall he is but I think his feet have gone through another growth spurt recently so I'm willing to bet his body is about to catch up.)

A New Chapter

It's been a little over a week since the last time Jack and I nursed, I think his last day was July 11.  I've been dreading this time for months now, for several reasons.

I am a big believer in baby-led weaning, and I had no desire to stop nursing Jack.  Yes, it would get a little frustrating that every time I would sit down his little radar would go off and he'd immediately find me and jump into my lap, but it wasn't frustrating enough to wean.  Even at 2 years old, he was still receiving health benefits from my milk, and it was comforting for me to know that on a night when he didn't eat any dinner because his new molars were hurting, he'd still be nourished from me.  Plus, we had special cuddle time every morning in bed... He'd play with my hair and we'd both doze in and out of sleep while he nursed. 

But on the morning of the 12th, Jack slept in until 8:40 am.  That's about 2 hours later than usual!  He woke up and immediately sat down to breakfast, and so we didn't nurse.  The rest of the day we were very busy and he never asked, by the time he went to bed that night I decided that it was a good opportunity for us to wean.  The next day he asked to nurse and I quickly changed the subject and distracted him with something else... This went on for a week.  He was very sad, and it was really hard for me to tell him that he couldn't have Mommy's nursies anymore. :-(  I nearly gave in several times because it's been very hard emotionally for him as well.  He hasn't asked for the past two days,so I think we're on the other side of things now.

The reason I decided to take the opportunity wasn't because I wanted to, but because I felt like it was my last ditch effort to help me feel "normal" again.  I have been pregnant and/or breastfeeding since April of 2006, and today I calculated I've breastfeed my babies for a total of over 4 years.  My hormones have taken quite a beating, and despite my attempts at trying to stabilize my moods naturally I still don't feel quite like I did before I had babies.  Since I chart my fertility and am really observant about how I am feeling and when I'm feeling that way, and since I have had my hormones tested, I know that it's a progesterone issue.  The supplements I've taken (B complex, additional B6, and St. John's Wort) have definitely helped!  But I felt like I weaning was my last chance.

So Jack Jack and I had two beautiful years, and I am so grateful for that.  Jack and I were so blessed.  I guess now it's time for us to move on to a new chapter in our lives, and hopefully my body will be able to figure things out sooner rather than later! 

Lazy Days

I am so very much enjoying our lazy summer.  We had swim lessons for the first two weeks in June, then after that I have done pretty much NOTHING.  We've had playdates with long-lost friends that I wish we could see more often, we've gone to the library, we've played inside and outside.  Most importantly, we've not had anything scheduled- no meetings, no ballet or gymnastics, no nothing.  We're working on our own schedule, so there's no rushing out the door to make it somewhere by a certain time.  How wonderful!

I feel like I've just really needed this, and by actually being sort of lazy I'm watching the kids grow up in a different way.  The three of them have been playing really well lately together, playing for an hour at a time with minimal involvement from me needed.  Usually it ends in someone getting a bump or bruise, but for the most part it's some serious make-believe play from everyone. 

Beth has become less concerned, not asking "what are we going to do next?" as often as she used to!

Beth and Luke wanted to wear their babies using my Moby wrap and a rebozo that I use with my doula clients (what Jack is wearing).  We found another piece of fabric for Luke to wear his baby, but I didn't get a photo!  All three of them played Mommy and Daddy for the rest of the day.

Healing Luke

I've written occasionally about how Luke has been dealing with chronic constipation since he was about 18 months old. He's had several xrays to confirm that he's constipated and over the years we've seen two pediatricians and Beth's pediatric GI specialist to try to get him some help. It's a very common issue for little kids- especially boys for some reason- and the general protocol for this is a daily dose of miralax. So, he was on miralax for several months.

 

Ryan and I were always concerned with having him on daily miralax... It's supposed to be harmless, but our thought was that it's not curing the actual cause of the problem, just covering up the fact that there is a problem. We decided to turn to a naturopathic doctor; it was a big decision because she's not on our insurance but we decided Luke's health was worth it!

 

For the first time as a parent visiting a doctor, I felt validated by a doctor. Yes, she's an MD, but naturopaths can't be licensed in the state of Texas so she's licensed elsewhere but practicing here. She listened to everything I was concerned about- how I wondered if some of Luke's misbehavior was caused by his discomfort of being constipated, if there could be an underlying health issue that was causing the constipation, wondering if his behavior is typical for a 3.5 year-old-boy... 

 

Don't get me wrong, we know Luke is a very well-behaved, well-mannered young man! But I can't help but wonder...What if he could be physically better? What sort of change would happen to his attitude, his behavior, his mind, if his gut were healed? These are things that our naturopath takes into consideration, and it's so nice for me, as a mother, to have a doctor actually actively listen to me!

Two Years Old

Our "baby" is two today!  Happy birthday Jack!

This little boy... I feel silly calling him my "baby" but as long as he's my youngest child I think he'll be blessed with that nickname. :-)  I feel so lucky to be his Mommy!

Day Trip to the Beach

A couple of weeks ago, after my brother's graduation ceremony, we spent the rest of the afternoon at the beach.  The seaweed was gross but I tried not to project my repulsion of it onto the kids, ha!  It didn't bother them, they'd walk on it and pick it up without any problem!  I can't even begin to express how much fun they had.  Once Jack decided to step into the water, he was giggling and laughing, running back and forth away from the waves.  It was precious!  Beth and Luke preferred being in the "deep water" with Ryan, but they each got lost in their own worlds digging for clams and splashing in the surf.  I want so badly to take them back on a regular basis, it's quite a road trip for us though!  I hope we get to have a seaside vacation this year!

Afternoons

We've spent lots of afternoons outside, of course it's too hot just to play to the kids insist on wearing swimsuits in the pool.  I guess running through the sprinkler in play clothes just isn't proper!  It's hot... And the mosquitoes are bad.  We spray them with herbal repellant but I always hesitate to put too much on their faces when they're in the water, it always runs and stings their eyes.  But when Jack gets bitten, it's bad.  I can't remember if I've posted this or not but his eye has swollen nearly completely shut 2 or 3 times because of bites on his forehead.  Ryan wants to buy one of those machines that traps the mosquitoes (a mosquito magnet?) and we do our best to make sure the water is dumped out so we kill any larvae, but they're still awful.  Luckily Beth and Luke don't react anymore (Luke used to get pretty big welts from bites, but only under his hairline) so I just have to keep a hawk eye on Jack.

Here's an older pic of Ryan finishing the fence!  So proud of you for working so hard for our family, we definitely enjoy cool early mornings in the backyard without fear of random dogs trotting through our yard!  I've also been able to add to my backyard gardens, no veggies at this point but maybe one day.  We also planted a few trees that we've had in pots on our porch for several years!  I have many more ideas for sprucing up the backyard but I have to put these projects on hold because I now have some indoor projects lined up next!

Two Weeks Have Passed...

As I sit here on June 11 and realize it's been 2 weeks since my last post, I realize how sad I am that I've neglected this blog lately.  It's my chronicle of our life, it's my children's "baby books."  But I can also assure you that the past two weeks have been so insanely busy, and that the rest of June will be quite busy too.

For the record, Friday June 1 we hosted a party for my brother, who graduated from medical school on Saturday June 2.  My mom, sister, and I really wanted to give him a special party and we spent the whole week preparing for things- getting the house ready, planning food and decor, shopping, making items for the party.  It was fun but busy!  Then on Friday we had a mini family photo shoot, went out to dinner, and came home to find our first guests waiting for us!  Oops!  I think the party was lovely, we celebrated with a wine-and-cheese/California theme, included a (sort of lame attempt at a) photobooth, a "wish" tree for guests to write and hang notes from, toasts, and of course lots of food and drinks!  My sister made a super-cool cake!  I had my camera set up for the photo booth so I don't have many photos, I hope that people will email me pics from the party!