Still Sick

A quick note to say we're all still sick.  Ryan stayed home from work on Friday.  Beth seems to be the best off out of all of us, but it hit her first so maybe that's why.  Today's the first day Luke seems to be on the mend, so far (crossing fingers and knocking on wood) there's been no fevers from anyone today.  We did all stay home from mass though because we're all coughing up nasty stuff and still very lethargic.  We're hoping to be over this for Thanksgiving!

Lesson Learned

Why on earth would I write something like, "The boys didn't get Beth's cold!" and hit publish?

Needless to say, we're all sick, everyone but Ryan.  It started simultaneously with Beth, Jack, and me, though the they actually have a fever and I just feel achy.  Luke has been mostly spared, but the amount of over-the-top whiny-ness tells me it's about to hit him hard too.

I've been reading a lot lately about nutrition and health, and finally feel like I'm getting somewhere with our health and diets.  Once I cut out Chex from the kid's diets, I saw a major improvement in Luke's attitude and his ability to sit down and concentrate on a task.  I can't be positive but I think it's the corn.

Feeling at peace is sometimes a hard thing for me, as I feel like I'm constantly seeking ways to improve our lives.  I wonder if certain behaviors can be changed because the more I read the more I'm convinced that what goes on in our guts directly affects what goes on in our brains, and when a child is acting out I try to figure out how I can help him or her. 

At some point though, I realize it's in God's hands.  He's given me the brain and the resources to figure out how to best care for my children, and after I've done all I can I have to give it to him.  When Jack was battling his rash for months and months... It was the same thing.  We visited so many doctors, tried so many medicines, but in the end I had to find peace in knowing that God was watching over him.  It was a hard reminder to put my trust in God when all I wanted so badly was for my little boy to be well again.

So we're all sick and tired.  We take efforts to boost our immune systems, get plenty of water and rest, and ask God for quick healing.  The good news is it's given me some extra time to cuddle with my boys, who are usually too busy to sit and let Mommy stroke their hair. :-)

Hmm...

Anyone miss the old days when I used to blog about my interior thoughts and dreams?  Yeah, me too.  I think I'll start doing that again.  But, not today, as I'm off to bed.  It's 10:00, it's late!  Man, I'm an old lady. :-)

Fall Sickness

So it's been a few days since my last update... I'm getting pretty terrible at this blogging thing, huh?!  When I have a client that's near her due date, I make it a point to go to bed very early each night because I don't know when or if I'll be called in the middle of the night, and this cuts back on my "extracurricular" activities like blogging... and cleaning house... ;-)

We have had our first round of fall sickness in the house, and it struck Beth.  She had a fever for several days and was very lethargic, laying around on the couch and napping on and off all day.  She didn't really have any other symptoms though, so we treated her fever and gave her time to heal.  The boys never got sick!

Unfortunately we had our family pictures scheduled so we went ahead with the shoot, we didn't realize Beth was still sick that morning as she woke up full of energy!  By the end of the shoot she was exhausted and had big bags under her eyes, I felt horrible for bringing her outside on a chilly morning!  I think we still managed to get a few good ones, hopefully a beautiful one for our Christmas cards!

I'm having a hard time believing November is halfway over, and that Thanksgiving is next week!  It doesn't help that it's 80 degrees outside today! I knew it was going to happen, that time would fly by- Luke's birthday always kicks off the busy season around our house!  I'm already considering what to buy for Christmas gifts, how to celebrate St. Nick's feast day, Beth's birthday party (the big number 5!), and visiting with our out-of-town friends and family. 

I've been feeling pretty good though, and I'm ready for the festivities to begin!

Halloween 2011

 Sorry this Halloween post is a little late!  :-)  We skipped out on the All Saint's Day party this year because I just didn't have it in me to prepare costumes.  We've gone the past two years and the kids had fun, and I know they would have enjoyed it even more this year.  I wasn't up for it, though!  So we just did plain old trick-or-treating, which they enjoyed quite a bit.  Beth went as a Monarch butterfly, Luke was a farmer on a tractor, and Jack was his cow.  The idea was for Luke to be Farmer Brown from the book Click Clack Moo, and Jack was to be a cow with a typewriter.  But I couldn't find a typewriter, so he was just a cow!  They went out with Ryan for about 30 minutes, while I stayed home expecting the door bell to ring... Except it didn't.  Okay, it rang once while they were gone, and once after they got home.  TWO trick-or-treaters!  Ryan told me a lot of families brought their candy to the end of their driveways to hand out to the kids (we have very long driveways in our neighborhood) so I guess that's why we didn't get many kids knocking at our door.  OH WELL, more candy for us!  Hehehehe...

Pumpkin Carving

Luke's Birthday Party

His cake, made by Mommy of course.  He loved it!  In retrospect I should have put the M&Ms a little closer together but overall I'm happy with it!

Bethie and MawMaw

MawMaw and the birthday boy, who is addicted to juice bags

Jack wasn't so entertained with Uncle Alex's blower thingie.  (We couldn't figure out what the technical name for those things are!)

Luke had so much fun with our out-of-town guests!

A silly smile, he was too excited to play with the diggers!

I think he had some help blowing out his candle. ;-)

Look at all those presents!

He got a firetruck!  Look at that smile!

A few new books, including Daddy's favorite, "I Stink!"

Coolest toy, a working drill and little toys with screws to drill.  He loves this!

The banner I made for his birthday!

I'm planning on using this in the future too! 

We made some coordinating flag banners also, and birthday cards mixed in with my Halloween mantel.

Boots

Ryan's Half-Marathon

Before the race began, psyching himself up no doubt

Ryan's cheering section.  Eating breakfast.

And they're off!  Yes, this hill is right at the start of the race, and not the only hill he had to run.  He didn't train on any hills and this is what nearly did him in.

We had lots of time to kill so we ate some more breakfast (Chex in a bag) on a hill.

I think she was expecting to watch people run the entire time, poor girl was rather bored.

Halfway done!  Only six and half miles to go!

Minutes after Ryan finished.  He really sprinted those last hundred yards or so, and given that this was his first time to ever complete this distance, he was exhausted.  And sore.  But he did it!

Blah Blah Blah...

I've had a lot on my mind lately.  But I'm just going to start typing, and see where this ends up.  Maybe I'll edit a lot, maybe I'll just let the random thoughts be.

So, it's been a rough month.  The craziness has continued and, though this things haven't happened to me, they've affected me directly.  I think it's safe to say this has been one of the hardest months in my life.

Now We Are Three

Luke, today is your third birthday!  Happy day to you!  We will celebrate by having a few friends and family members come over to share some cake with you.  You requested M&M's and Mommy knows you love big machines so I will decorate your cake specially for you! 

The night before your birthday we tried to go to a pumpkin patch, but they had no pumpkins!  You were so disappointed, but we went out to dinner instead and you shared a hamburger with Daddy.  We promised to get a pumpkin later in the week!

Gluten-Free Girl, One Year Later

Today marks the one-year anniversary of Beth's endoscopic biopsy, and then October 30 is the one-year date of when she officially began her gluten-free diet.  It's been a whole year already.

Going through some of my old blog posts from last year brought me to tears.  Finally realizing why Beth had been in pain for so many months. Her first tastes of gluten-free bread and pasta- she loved them.  Watching her clothes get smaller as she grew taller, watching her bloated belly thin out.  Noticing short, sweet hairs growing on her precious little head... Hairs I didn't even realize she had been missing.  The dark bags under her eyes... Gone.

Luke's New Game

our newest little friend, a green hummingbird.  he's the only one we've ever seen at our feeder that we put up two weeks ago, but he seems happy to have found it because he comes several times a day!

No More Cable TV

sort of a sad way to watch a football game!

I can't remember if I've blogged this or not, but we ditched our cable several months ago.  We tried in vain to figure out a way to hook our computer up to our television, but due to the age of our tv and the input types, it's nearly impossible!  We've been reduced to watching our favorite shows on the computer, which hasn't been a huge deal but it's sort of... inconvenient?  Uncomfortable?  We kept the tv hooked up to the DVD player so the kids can watch DVDs, but that was all it was good for.

Until last week.  Ryan bought a converter box and an antenna.  Do you know how much it was hurting him to watch football on the computer screen?  Lots.  Well, since we're not in the city we don't get great reception, but we now get the basic channels which means Ryan can watch most of the football games.  Yesterday's game was on a regular channel, so I took the above photo of Ryan and Beth watching the game on the computer.  Don't you feel sorry for him?

beth and jack, enjoying a snack while luke finishes his late nap

Random School Pics

reviewing at the end of the week.  we didn't get much schooling done during our rough two weeks, so we had lots of reviewing to do before we get back into things again!

sorting shapes and colors.  after this we made patterns.

My Babies

A Trip to Town

I've been feeling that with everything going on lately, our little family needed some time to get out and reconnect.  I had purchased some children's museum passes on groupon recently so we decided to go to town for the day.  First was the children's museum, and oh boy did they have fun!  A lot of it was over there heads but they could have cared less, they had a blast.  Their favorite parts were playing in the small "city" where they could go into kid-sized versions of places like a bank, restaurant, vet's office, and an ambulance, and the outdoor water play area was a big hit too.  Wouldn't you know it rained though?  We've had a drought for months and months and it rained on the day we planned to take them to play outside and have a picnic.  Figures!  It did dry up a bit so that we could go outside for a few minutes; Luke loved using tubes to redirect water that was pumped out of the stream, and Beth and Jack ran around and checked everything else out.  I love watching Luke get really drawn into something though, it takes a lot for something to grab his attention so much that he'll stop paying attention to everything else.

After the museum we drove to a park where we had a picnic lunch.  It was still wet but not raining, so we dealt with puddles but the kids didn't seem to mind that too much!  We had to stand in line in order to ride on the train, and thank goodness because the sky opened up and it poured for about 10 minutes, those poor people on the train ride before us got soaking wet!  We rode the little train around the park and both kids said this was their favorite part of the day!  (It was probably Jack's favorite part too as he nursed the entire train ride, ha!)  It was about 2:00 after the train ride and everyone was clearly about to fall asleep so we left to come back home. 

Later that afternoon Grandma and Grandpa came over to visit the kiddos, their first time to see them in a few weeks since they'd been out of town.  When Beth found out they were coming over, she declared, "This is the best day EVER!"  and Ryan and I cracked up.  We had dinner and took the kids outside to play on their new bikes- Luke's "new" Spiderman bike was an early birthday present from Mawmaw and Pawpaw!  Beth's bike isn't new but since her training wheel broke a couple of months ago, we decided that instead of buying her new training wheels we'd just take them off and see if she can ride!  Well, it took about four days of practice, but yes, she can ride.  Pretty well too, though I am concerned about her learning how to stop the right way!  Jack will sometimes push himself on his rocket (Luke's old rocket) but usually prefers to be pushed around in the umbrella stroller!

I should add that, for the record, it rained ALL DAY on Sunday!  This is easily the first time in months it has rained this much.  I'm pretty sure Jack doesn't know what rain is, he seemed a little confused when he was in the garage checking it out!  We had a lazy day at home and recuperated from our busy Saturday.

I love that the kids are getting old enough that we can do fun activities like this an not have to worry so much about naptimes or following a schedule so rigidly.  I feel like they're finally able to start enjoying things that our city has to offer!  And, I didn't bring my camera or take pictures because I wanted to be fully in the moment with my kids.  I love having photos of them but feel like when I'm trying to take pictures, I'm just observing what happens, so the only pictures I have from the day are a few that were taken on my phone!

Beth rides on two wheels!

A Plea

So let's see... Two posts about the two big things that happened.  But, for my future reference, let me recap:

1. In-laws came to town 9/18, spent the night, left for Italy the next morning.  
2. Mom and two brothers came to town, spent several nights with us helping us paint our downstairs
3. My grandfather passed away on Thursday, 9/22
4. The rest of my family came to town for the funeral, which was held 9/26
5. The next day, 9/27, I started spotting. 
6. 9/28, had an ultrasound that showed Samuel's loss was due to a blighted ovum
7. 10/3, two clients had their babies, I attended both births.  The highlights of my week!
8. 10/4, in-laws came back to town, Ryan told them the news and I updated this blog

I'm not trying to feel sorry for myself and am not posting to fish for sympathy.  I am allowing myself time to heal and grieve, but I just have to put this all together and make sense of it.  This was a very difficult two weeks, but I have to say it could have been so much worse.   It sounds awful but I just kept waiting for something else to go wrong, and I'm so very thankful it didn't.  I am so thankful that I have my faith to rely on; God has gifted me with unwavering faith and for that I'm so very grateful because I'm not quite sure how I could have done this if I were having a crisis of faith.  I'm emotionally beat up, and even though I've seen my husband and children every day I feel like I haven't been truly present for them lately.  I miss them.  I miss feeling like myself but I know once my hormones settle down I'll feel normal again.  Well, I'll feel normal, but I'll never be the same.

A New Saint in Heaven

I've born a life into God's hands, something I never thought I would do.  We've lost a baby to miscarriage, and I'm just so sad that for whatever reason God decided this baby was better off in His arms than in mine.  I'm not angry, just very sad.  Sad that I won't see this little person's fingers or toes, or hear how he would laugh.  Sad that Jack is a big brother but no one knows it.  Sad because my womb harbored life for several weeks, and now all of the sudden it's empty.  It aches for my baby.

If anything, the loss of this baby has put my focus more on heaven, reminding me that every day my goal has to be heaven so that I can meet my little saint.  I know I'll hold him one day, but I'm sad that day is so far away.

Our family has a new little patron saint in heaven.  I know he has several friends to play with, and I take comfort in knowing that my Pops is probably keeping him entertained, sitting him in his lap and teaching him how to play piano until I arrive to scoop him up and give him the big hug I want so badly to give to him.

Please pray for Ryan and me, as we grieve this loss... In my womb for a few short weeks, but forever in ours hearts.  We named him Samuel.  St. Samuel, pray for us!