One {Very Blessed} Woman

Getting Messy

2012-02-09T22:27:00.000-06:00

I'm on Pinterest. I know it can be a time-sucker for some people, but I have to admit that it's really great for me! I'm not addicted (yet) and I have gotten some really wonderful inspiration for home ideas, kid's activities, and recipes. I've completed quite a few "pins," but my favorite part is when things are slow around here and the kids are begging for an activity I use Pinterest as my resource.

Last week, I mixed glue and shaving cream with food coloring. They had SO much fun, though their hands were stained for a day!

Another day, I put a lot of glue on big piece of paper and suggested they write letters/spell words with some beans. They wound up smearing the glue everywhere, and getting the beans nice and sticky. Then, Luke learned that when glue dries on your hands it gets sort of peely, and he didn't like that!

This day we brought out our aroma dough (GF play-doh). I found some pages that I could laminate and then use the mats to fill in the pieces that are missing (like a face without eyes, nose, or mouth- like in Beth's photo) and Beth really loved these mats. Luke is still trying to perfect rolling his dough out into a snake! And surprisingly, it only took one bite of aroma dough for Jack to realize he'd rather play with it than eat it!

I know people joke about their Pinterest addiction, but I just love it! I know it will be of great help to me in the future too, especially as we embark on our home education journey this fall!

On a similar subject of messy activities, I was talking to a friend the other day about learning how to be a mom of boys. We both had girls first and boys to follow, and we talked to each other about how it's just been so different! Our boys are both drawn to the outdoors, mud and dirt (Luke actually calls it "the muck and mire"), swings and monkey bars, sticks, trash and gross things. Beth likes those things too, don't get me wrong, but as a three-year-old she was perfectly content to sit inside and play dolls or color a page from her book. "Sit" is not in Luke's vocabulary! So my friend and I were talking about these differences, and how we're trying to change our ways of thinking. One of my favorite books I've read about it is called Boys Will Be Boys, and it's about encouraging them and fostering their male-ness. It's helped me understand how I can serve their natural needs better! I'm also about to read How Do You Tuck in a Superhero, as I'm going to the author's day-long retreat in a couple of weeks, but I've heard this is more of a humor book about raising boys. Maybe I can prepare myself for what's to come! I'm trying to plan more hands-on messy activities, and trying to get them outside to play more, though it's been hard with all of the rain! I'm also watching Luke interact with other boys, gently encouraging him to play fairly, use his words, but also to stand up for himself. He's really growing up so much!

Gifts

2012-02-08T13:57:00.000-06:00

I was going through some of my old posts and realized I never posted photos of the beautiful cards and gifts we received after my miscarriage in September. We received some beautiful letters from sweet friends and family members, some who have sadly miscarried before and personally understood how devastating our loss was. My book club girlfriends brought over an Edible Arrangement, which included some yummy chocolate-covered strawberries (on of my all-time favorites). Some of my homeschooling friends sent a card and a rosebush, which unfortunately doesn't look too good right now in the middle of "winter" so I didn't take a photo of it, but it's still alive! I intend on planting it after we get our fence up in the backyard, in the garden outside my bedroom window so I can see it from my bed. We're planning on making that "Samuel's Garden," and will include this stone sent by a very special friend:

The stone has been in my kitchen since we received it because I don't want to put it outside!

Ryan gave me a beautiful box with a crucifix with a couple of medals and Christmas ornament that we hung on the tree. The box is on our display case, the ornament we'll bring it out every year and think of our little saint.

Ryan and I are both okay. It's still hard to think about the milestone dates, and knowing it'll be something carried around with me forever in my OB records, but it changed our hearts- and our family- forever. We were blessed with a few short weeks, and for those weeks with my fourth baby I am still thankful.

Art

2012-01-31T22:49:00.001-06:00

Blogging from my phone! Today the kids finger painted with a homeade mix of glue and shaving cream, dyed with food coloring. Lots of fun but their hands are stained pink and purple! Beth said, "mom, the painting was fun but my hands look like pinkalicious!"

No More Apologies

2012-01-29T14:28:00.002-06:00

I think I'll quit apologizing for my erratic posting habits. Fact is, we're busy and my blogging has taken a backseat to the rest of my life. Well, it's never been the first thing on my mind, but now that we're schooling daily, I'm busy with my doula work, and I'm trying to be better about spending less time online I really just am too busy. But, it's an important account of our lives, so I'll just promise to update when I can.

Beth and I are still schooling every day, though we've stepped back from the Mother of Divine Grace curriculum I had been using last semester. It's boring, for me and her. She doesn't like a couple of aspects of it and we both just feel so bored doing what seems like the same stuff every day, so I'm taking what I like from it and we're just doing our own thing. She's still learning to read, but we're doing games and flashcards, and I just bought a couple of new workbooks from Barnes and Noble. I was there the other night by myself so I signed up for an educator's discount card! 20% off, wohoo! She was also bored with learning numbers and wanted to move into addition and subtraction, so we're playing games and working through another new workbook and some pages I've printed off the internet. For religion we're going to work more on Catholic activities and crafts in addition to our bible reading.

sorting broken crayons and peeling off the paper to make "new" heart-shaped crayons

watching them melt- waiting is so hard for the little ones!

the first of the two batches of crayons we made

This is funny but also sort of sad, but the other day Beth asked me what a pope was. I had to laugh because to her, there's no "religion." To her, all people are good and all people love Jesus. She knows she was created by God, Jesus is his son who died for us, and Mary was his mother and Joseph was his father. She knows about the 10 commandments and that Jesus lives in everyone's hearts. She knows that we pray to talk with Jesus and the saints, and that her angel is always with her. What she doesn't know about is that there are people who don't believe the same way we do, she doesn't know there are so many different "flavors" of Christianity. She tells me almost daily that she loves Jesus more than anything else, and wants to do his will so that she can be in heaven with him. When Jesus talks about having "faith like a child," I think Beth is the perfect example of this. She has such a sweet innocence and such a beautiful heart. I have no doubt she is going to do amazing things with her life, all for the glory of God! But, in the meantime, I have to teach her a little more about our Holy Father, lol!

sorting and matching lids from various containers i've been saving

Luke is having fun being a 3-year-old boy... Unfortunately most days this means torturing his mother and siblings! Lately he's been giving me a run for my money, and providing me ample opportunities to practice patience. I remember going through a bit of a rough patch when Beth was 3, and I think it's Luke's turn right now. Luckily I have several good friends who have 3-year-old boys and who are more than happy to talk with me about their sons, and I know that what he's going through is pretty standard behavior. I think he's dropping his nap too, which doesn't help the evening crankiness. It has made us get very serious about fencing in our backyard though, because I know that once he (and Beth and Jack) are able to go outside and play for an hour or more each day, it will help release their cooped-up energy!

luke did this puzzle mostly by himself! he was so proud!

the ~~marsh~~ backyard after some rain we had this week.

At this point Ryan and I are hoping to have the fence done in March- we've decided that first we need to raise the entire backyard and plant new grass. We had added 6 (?) loads of dirt last year in the very back of the yard, and now the middle part needs to be raised as well because it's still just a boggy marsh when it rains. Hopefully we'll be able to get to work on all of this soon because this is very important to me! I know the risks but I'm also considering getting a super-safe trampoline... I'm desperate for them to get outside and burn off that energy!

Jack is now 19 months but holy cow, he's still my "baby." It's hard for me to believe that when Luke was 19 months, I was 36 weeks pregnant and therefore it made Luke seem so much older! I can totally see why the youngest children in the family are spoiled rotten, because Jack totally is. We let him get away with stuff that we were so stringent about before, and I know it's our faults! He is such a momma's boy, and he's still nursing several times a day. He's starting to try to use real words, and it's getting to that time where I can understand what he's saying but no one else really can. He can say ball, book, hair, spoon, grandpa, car, bath, Beth, night night, and probably a few more. He does understand everything I'm saying though, and eagerly waits for instructions from me when I say his name! So helpful and so cute. His favorite thing to do right now is to imitate Beth and Luke in everything from silly noises and faces to playing what they're playing. When they're doing something he can't see he runs to the bathroom, grabs the stool, and brings it right next to them so he can be as tall as they are. He gets right in there and participates in everything to the best of his ability!

Poor Finley had surgery almost two weeks ago to remove a couple of lumps that we weren't sure about and to have his teeth cleaned. Since Boxers are prone to tumors, we decided to have these lumps removed just to be safe. Now, for nearly two weeks, he's had to wear an e-collar, which has made him rather depressed! At first he wasn't messing with his stitches but I noticed the skin was getting pink and irritated, so we had to torture him afterall.

I've been working on a few projects lately, related to my new year's resolution of moving toward a more healthy and natural home. I made homemade laundry detergent and dishwasher soap, both economical and containing less scary ingredients than store-bought kind. So far they both seem to work! I also made a yarn wreath for our front door, I meant for it to be for Valentine's day but it just looks nice and spring-y.

I know now why they're sold for $30-$50 on etsy.com though, just wrapping the yarn around the wreath took nearly two hours! Although I've seen some very cute colored once, I chose white so that I could change out the felt decorations throughout the year and to make it more seasonal. The pink and yellow flowers are made from felt and hot glued onto hair clippies so that Beth can wear them when I move on to new decor. :-)

Ryan and I had a date night last week, much thanks to his parents for babysitting for us! We had drinks and a late dinner at Lupe Tortilla then went to Barnes and Noble for "my" date I had planned! We completed these challenges then had some Starbucks before ending the night. Not our typical date, since we usually head to a pub and have some drinks, but we had fun and in the end spent less moolah!

I had a rough week, emotionally. I don't feel overwhelmed with my tasks, I just wish I had better control of my emotions and reactions to the kids when they push my buttons. I know it'll be a life-long journey for me, but I truly hope they know that everything I've done in my life is for them! I love them so much, and I melt when they tell me at the end of the night that I'm the best mommy in the world because there are some days when I could swear I was the worst person ever in the history of the planet. But, after a thought-provoking homily this morning at mass, I'm ready to tackle this week with a clear head and new motivation! Say some prayers for me!

Teamwork

2012-01-15T22:17:00.000-06:00

Sorry for the lack of posts this week, I had two night births and it's been sort of hectic! We're trying to get back into our daily routine and we were somewhat successful last week. :-) One morning I was getting very frustrated by all the "mine!" and "leave me alone!" sort of comments, that I scrapped our morning lesson plan and decided to focus on teamwork instead! I came up with a few things on the spot, and the first was a mini-lecture of sorts (ha!) on how a family is like a football team... I thought Ryan would be proud of my analogy! We talked about how each person has strengths and weaknesses, and how we help each other out, how the coach knows each player's strengths, etc... Luke said his strength was running fast, and Beth said her strength was being honest! So, they sort of got it. ;-) Then I got on youtube and we watched the winning play of the Texans vs. the Bengals. The kids watch football with Ryan so they knew what was going on, but I kept starting and stopping the video to try to make points, like this guy is good at kicking and this guy is good at catching, etc. They just liked watching a video, lol.

After our discussion we had a three-legged "walk" around the house. They had never done this before so I tied their legs together and let them go at it. Surprisingly they didn't fall, but they didn't quite get it the "right" way either. I think the benefit of this was that they were standing near each other- arms around each other- and not trying to hurt each other. I'll consider it a successful activity.!

After this we played a modified game of hide-and-seek, but they had to hold hands and find an object I had hidden. The goal was one person had to say, "I think it's under the pillow" and the other person had to lift up the pillow to look. They did it well a few times, and I played too so they took turns hiding the object.

We also read a Curious George book where George takes newspapers and makes paper boats to float down the river, and so we decided to fold a paper boat! This wasn't really a teamwork exercise, but they thought it was really cool, and I was just happy I could follow the illustrated directions in the book! The boat lasted about 2 minutes in the water before Luke pushed it under the water, he didn't realize that would make it sink!

I truly hope that I'm able to help them cultivate a special friendship. So many days I think one is out to kill the other! They have different personalities but I pray that as the years go on, they're able to share happy memories, share faith, share family, and be good friends!

And here is a photo of Jack, because although he didn't fully participate in our teamwork activities, he's definitely part of our team!

And while that would be a nice place to end this post, I have a few more pictures to share that don't belong anywhere particular. :-)

Another day last week we made a race track and blew little poms around the track with air from our straws. Beth loved this activity, then of course the boys took matchbox cars to it and destroyed the track within a few minutes. They had a fun time destroying it though!

Our Christmas Gifts

2012-01-08T20:57:00.001-06:00

Our Christmas gifts for the kids this year were given with the hopes that it would provide lots of entertainment for them upstairs. We hardly spend anytime upstairs during the day, except when the kids have rest/nap time. Luke is still napping, but I have a feeling that he will drop it sometime in the next several months. Luke received a bunch of matchbox cars, trains, a set of semi-trucks, and books to fill up his little bookshelf in his bedroom. I kid you not, before Christmas he had books and a set of wooden train tracks in his room- not really conducive to extended playtime! He now has plenty of toys, hopefully he will enjoy playing on his own for awhile since he's not really into sharing right now. ;-)

trucks, cars, diggers, trains, helicopters, blocks, train tracks! you think it'd be enough to entertain him for hours!

the melissa & doug fleet from grandma and grandpa- each carries a different load!

as much as he loves vehicles, blocks have always been one of his favorites.

a few new books for christmas too!

Bethany received a bunch of playtime dolls from both sets of grandparents for Christmas and her birthday. We decided to allow her to have Barbies... I know, some of you (all of you?) are probably thinking I was crazy for considering not letting her own Barbies. But seriously, they're not exactly dressed the way I want my daughter to dress, and their makeup is a bit trampy. I know that so many people say that it doesn't matter, but to Ryan and me it does. So we picked out a couple of Barbies that we thought seemed decent enough, I purchased a few hand-made Barbie dresses from etsy, and she was thrilled to receive them! She also received a lot of new furniture and a few new dolls for her Loving Family dollhouse, which was so graciously given to us by a friend a few months ago! We moved Beth's bedroom furniture around a little to make room for everything, and we also finally added a chair to her desk so she can color and draw in her room. Lately she enjoys making "cards" for everyone by using up all of my envelopes!

big girl using her desk now for drawing and coloring!

doll house people and furniture, three new barbies and a corvette!

her play corner- the toys tuck away nicely in the unused side of her closet. :-)

my girly girl. a new jewelry box from mommy and daddy, a place for bows and headbands. a drawer full of scarves and other "accessories."

Both Beth and Luke also received a CD player for their bedrooms. We listen to a lot of music in our house and it's always calming and soothing for them, and keeps them engaged in their activities. Right now they just have kid CDs in their rooms but I'll be adding to their collection soon I hope. They both LOVE their CD players and feel so grown-up by choosing and playing their own music!

Jack received a few new toys and some blocks, and a couple of cloth diapers. :-) What can I say, the boy plays mostly with Beth and Luke's toys!

For Christmas I received a new all-in-one printer from Ryan to replace the dinky cheap-o one that hardly ever worked! It's beautiful and wonderful and wireless! I love it!

my new all-in-one printer from ryan- it's wireless so I can print from my downstairs laptop! and it scans and copies- yay!!!

I gave Ryan a photo of a basketball goal. ;-) We are planning on buying in in February after we take care of Finley first- poor doggy has to have some lumps removed and have his teeth cleaned at the same time! We've been told that the lumps are harmless but it's safer to remove them now, so we're hoping that he'll continue to be healthy after this. Ryan's been wanting a basketball goal for over a year now, hopefully one more month shouldn't be too much longer of a wait!

Welcome 2012!

2012-01-07T22:26:00.000-06:00

Last Saturday night was New Year's Eve, and we celebrated at home with the kiddos this year. We grilled some ribs and played outside- wearing shorts and t-shirts. ;-) I bought some firework popper things, I thought they just shot out streamers but I didn't realize there was actually a pop! The kids "helped" Ryan pop a few while we were making dinner, they thought it was the coolest thing ever! Even Jack wanted a turn!

We had a delicious family-style dinner, which is another one of my resolutions. Ryan and I get very frustrated during mealtime when the kids are making demands constantly... more milk, more water, new napkins, give me mustard, I need a new fork... So we're putting everything on the table before dinner, and asking the kids to help out by either getting their own water or by setting napkins/forks at each chair. So far it's wonderful! Ryan and I can actually sit down and eat with the kids, instead of one of us always having to get up! It creates some extra dishes but in the end, we're okay with that!

As soon as it got dark, the neighbors started shooting off firecrackers. Not little firecrackers or occasional pop, but the real kind that make you feel a BOOM in your chest. Needless to say our children were not interested in going to bed! We stayed up a little and let them watch the show, and eventually put them in their rooms to bed with their fans (white noise) on as loudly as we could manage. I'm amazed they went to sleep, and stayed asleep during the grand finale at midnight!

New year's morning was Sunday, and we went to mass as usual and came home and made an extra-fancy brunch! Mimosas for Mom and Dad, and bacon, hash browns, eggs, and pancakes for all. Family style, of course, in my new serving dishes from Target!

We spent the rest of the day relaxing, talking about our goals for the year, and working in the yard a bit. Ryan had Monday off too and we took a family trip to Ikea for a new bookshelf for my new printer (more on that later!). Never again will Ryan and I take them to Ikea... It's really just not worth it!!!

It's been a wonderful treat to have Ryan home so much during the Christmas break! He's back to work as usual and I'm ready for us to start school and get back on our schedule again. Tonight we took down our Christmas decor and Monday we'll start our spring semester!

Questions

2012-01-05T17:03:00.000-06:00

Hmm...
Do you ever have one of those days when you just want to take the afternoon off?
Do you ever feel trapped in your own house, look outside the window and it's almost like you're looking through jail bars?
Do you ever look at your life and go, "Wait. What now?"
Do you ever wonder if you're actually talking to the wall, because clearly no one has heard a word you've said all day long?
Do you contemplate what would happen to the kids and your house if you just were to lock yourself in your closet all afternoon with a stash of dark chocolate and Dr. Pepper?
Do you tell God, "I know you won't give me more than I can handle, I just wish you wouldn't trust me with so much?"

Oh you haven't? Um yeah, me neither. :-b

Today

2012-01-03T22:15:00.001-06:00

The Scene: Beth was "nursing" her baby with a blanket draped over her baby and chest.

me: "Beth, why are you covering with a blanket?"
beth: "So I don't ruin anyone."
me: "Ruin anyone?! How would you ruin them?"
beth: "I mean, destroy anyone. So I don't destroy them."
me: "Destroy?!"
beth: "Um. Distract. So I don't distract anyone."

A new resolution

2012-01-03T21:12:00.001-06:00

I still haven't decided what my new year's resolutions should be yet! I'm a couple of days late, but I think my procrastination paid off last night when I read this blog post. While she's a bit wordy (her book is like that too!), I felt like I could relate to certain parts of her post, and I loved her idea of giving each year a name. Today I've been pondering what my year could be, and while I can't think of a snappy name I picked a single word that speaks to the person I've been trying to be lately.

Joy.

I want my 2012 to be joyful! I want to be able to seek joy in all things, because for me seeking joy is nearly equivalent to learning to become grateful. Gratitude naturally leads to thanksgiving, and thanksgiving leads to humility. I love that these virtues are so closely entwined!

Our deacon pointed out at church this week that to have a resolution means not just stating your goal, but figuring out the steps you'll take to achieve your goal...So with that in mind, here are my steps. They sound silly but I think each one will bring me one step closer to living a joy-filled year!

purposefully laugh.
smile when i want to frown. unfurrow my brow. don't force it- become it.
be thankful for my blessings. write down one thing I'm grateful for per day in my day planner.
seek joy in the most difficult/awkward/frustrating of all situations by pondering it in prayer before speaking.
be a source of joy to those around me, especially my husband and children.
imitate the one who was full of Joy herself, mary!

In Luke 2:19, "Mary pondered these things in her heart." Somehow I feel drawn that spending more time pondering- instead of speaking (yelling?)- will lead me to joy. Joy in Jesus, joy in my daily life, joy in my faith. I'm not sure quite how yet, but I hope that by spending more time pondering, Jesus will turn my eyes to the true joy that I can only find in him!

Happy 2012!

Christmas Tree Farm

2012-01-01T13:15:00.000-06:00

Our trip to the Christmas tree farm this year was more of a trip to visit the animals, ride the train, and run around the tree fields! The farm we go to has lots of little fun extras to see and do, and we spent more time checking out these extras than we had in the past.

goats

a peacock! there were lots of exotic birds.

a (very bumpy) train ride around the farm

a miniature donkey?

another donkey, beth loved all of the animals! like mother like daughter!

jack was cracking up at the goats jumping on the gate

rabbits! :-)

on the hay ride, out to go see the trees

it was deceptively chilly that day!

unfortunately a lot of the trees we wanted weren't for sale this year, they were saving them for next year. i think it had something to do with the drought?

trying to find the perfect tree!

stepping on (and then falling over) a stump

our tree! my camera battery died while we were cutting the tree down at the farm, but here's the one we chose.

Year In Review

2012-01-01T13:08:00.000-06:00

I've been feeling very contemplative lately, like an end-of-the-year post might do me some good. :-)

2011 marked a few big events, the first one that comes to my mind is the conception and loss of our sweet baby. I still think about him daily, and some days are a lot harder than others. It's hard thinking of what should have been, like that I'd soon be entering my third trimester. But, it's also comforting for me to know that we have a little saint in heaven praying for us!

Not to be a downer right off the bat, but two other big events have included loss- the loss of my grandfather in September and the very recent loss of Ryan's uncle. It's been a very hard fall/winter for our families and for us, and we ask that our friends continue to hold our mourning and grieving family members in prayer.

We celebrated this year too- a big FIRST birthday bash for Jack, and a big FIFTH birthday bash for Beth! Luke turned three this year, and he had a small party with a few friends! Ryan and I celebrated our birthdays quietly this year, but I turn the big 3-0 in 2012 and am planning something very awesome and amazing. ;-)

Ryan and I took a trip to Punta Cana in June, and then in August we packed up and drove the kids up to Missouri! Two vacations I won't soon forget because they were both huge ordeals and we made some wonderful memories on both trips!

I officially started homeschooling Beth in September, using a kindergarten curriculum but I am still considering her preschool. She's doing very well, right on track or ahead of everything and she's truly loving every minute. She makes it easy though, I hope we both continue to enjoy it as we enter our second semester of school together!

Ryan's job has remained stable (thank you Lord!) but I took on a new career path and pursued training to become a doula. So far I've attended 6 births and I absolutely love my work! It's been so amazing for families to hire me and include me on such a sacred and intimate moment in their lives, and I feel so honored to attend each birth. I don't think that's a feeling that will ever change since each birth has been unique and amazing in it's own ways. I love it!

One of the biggest personal changes I've experienced this year has been what I'd like to call a "clearing of my head." As I look back on the past several years I feel like I've had a few moments that have been very low, very difficult, and I wonder if I experienced some depression. In retrospect it's easier to see, because now my head feels "clear," for lack of a better word. I am crediting this to the fact that this is the longest I've gone without getting (and staying) pregnant, and I suppose that for my body, I just needed some extra time between babies for my hormones and my body to figure things out. It's really amazing, and I just feel so happy and blessed to be on the upside of things. While Ryan and I do want to add to our family, we're prayerfully considering when we will do so!

I've loved watching my children grow up and turn into "big kids." Jack is now 18 months, and this changes how we operate quite a bit! No longer do I feel like I have to carry a big diaper bag around with me- I keep diapers and wipes in the car if we need them and I don't have to carry around all the extra baby stuff. Beth is becoming more independent and is able to help me out if I need something. It's still hectic and crazy, don't get me wrong! But not having a baby in the mix has made is easier for me.

Toward the beginning of 2011, we dealt with Luke's colon issues and Jack's never-ending rash. Luke still occasionally has problems with constipation but it's not nearly the deal that it used to be, and Jack still occasionally has small patches of irritated skin. I think it's just the way he is, though, just a little guy with sensitive skin. Thank goodness the horrible body rash he battled for a couple of months disappeared with time. Beth had no problem adapting to her gluten-free diet, and over a year later her body is growing just as it should and her health is absolutely perfect.

I thank God for his blessings in 2011, and even for the opportunities we've experienced that have led us closer to him. There are times when we've wanted to scream and yell "WHY?!" but in the end, we know that he doesn't do these things to us, but instead He gives us the strength to become better Christians. And ultimately, trials lead us closer to our life's goal: heaven.

Many prayers for my friends and family in 2012! Please pray for our little family this year!

2011-12-25T14:50:00.000-06:00

Holiday Visitors

2011-12-23T22:56:00.000-06:00

We have some extra-special guests staying with us right now: Aunt Ramona, cousin Christopher, and in-utero baby boy "Nugget"! Christopher is about 9 months younger than Luke and a year older than Jack, so they stair-step down and have lots of fun together! Yesterday we made some oatmeal cookies and played around the house, today we had haircuts (by Aunt Stephanie) and went to look at Christmas lights in pajamas. They are all very anxious for Christmas to be here!

Cousins

2011-12-23T21:26:00.002-06:00

Our Christmas Tree

2011-12-18T22:27:00.000-06:00

Jack's first year to help hang ornaments. He enjoying pulling everything out of the box!

Sunday night, the fourth Sunday of Advent, we decorated our tree. It's not really a tradition for us to decorate it at a certain time, we just hadn't really gotten around to it yet! It was kind of nice having it empty though- well, with only the lights- because I haven't had to worry about kids or cats pulling ornaments off! I am now happy with the way our home is decorated this year, it was feeling very empty until we got our tree last weekend. I bought a lot of fake poinsettias this year and I love them, they add so much color, are so festive, and look so fabulous against our new gray walls. In fact, they were the inspiration for us to paint our half-bathroom a cranberry-red color! It's intense but I love it!

The kids had fun decorating, but had more fun running around the house with strings of fake cranberries after the tree was done. Ryan and I just sad on the couch while the three of them ran around us, and we were able to just sort of take it all in. It's that time of year for reminiscing, and I thought about how over the past several years we've had a new baby or I've been expecting, and this is the first year we weren't really dealing with that. It's still hard sometimes, thinking about how I should be well into my second trimester right now, feeling baby kicks...

There's so much going on though, I've hardly had too much time to think. Last week was intense preparation for Beth's birthday party, a Christmas party with friends, and prepping the house for visiting relatives. This week will be a lot of the same, plus I have some last-minute shopping and gift wrapping to do!

Daily I've been thinking about how I can prep my heart for the birth of Christ, what I can give to Him for Christmas this year. I'm in a different place this year, because of the ages of my kiddos, so I feel like I have something different to offer my infant Savior. Looking back, last year I was pretty down, and was some days struggling to make it through the day, so every little thing I did seemed like a huge sacrifice. Now, we have mostly wonderful days, and I'm feeling ready to venture out and nourish my own soul again. I haven't had much of that since I left Regnum Christi a few years ago, but my heart misses the discipline and spirituality of the movement I no longer feel connected to. I don't know what the Lord is calling me to but I'm listening for His voice... Unfortunately there's not a lot of quiet around here! I feel so blessed to be able to hear His voice in my children and husband though, and to be in a place again where I'm starting to feel "normal" enough to enjoy and truly love my life in a way I've not experienced before. I am so blessed!

I took photos of the kids hanging ornaments but really, I should've taken some of them chasing each other around the house, shrieking with excitement!

Luke's star

Beth's angel

Jack's cardinal (just to clarify... because he loves the birds outside our breakfast window, not the baseball team!)

three growing-up babies

Ryan lifting Beth so that she can place the angel on top!

our 2011 Christmas tree

A Birthday Party

2011-12-18T21:39:00.001-06:00

Miss Bethany will be celebrating her FIFTH birthday in 9 days, but because of the date we held a birthday party with her friends on Saturday the 17th. This was her very first "friend" party, all girls, and oh-so-girly. :-) A long time ago she wanted a Fancy Nancy-themed party, so we made some uber-cute birthday invitations and we took the Fancy Nancy, French, pink and purple theme and ran with it! We requested each girl wear her most exquisite ensemble and we gave out boas, "pearl" necklaces, and sunglasses (that all broke!) to each of the girls upon her arrival. We played "Fancy Freeze Dance" where the girls had to make a funny pose when I suddenly would stop the music, and Beth would choose the girl with the silliest pose. We also played "don't let the balloon touch the ground," a game that every kid I've ever met loves! After playing and dancing a bit, the girls sat down for a fancy lunch- chicken salad sandwiches, veggies and dip, chocolate-dipped pretzels, cookies, and strawberry lemonade out of champagne glasses! After lunch the girls played some more until we decided to open gifts. Beth was, as you can imagine, incredibly excited about this, and waiting for it the entire day! She received a LOT of Fancy Nancy books and activity books, a small Yorkie in a carrying bag, a Lalaloopsy doll, and a couple of craft kits. Fabulous gifts! After presents we sang "Happy Birthday" and had cake, then slowly the girls went home. Beth absolutely loved her birthday party! Thank you to all the little girls and their Mommies who made the drive to our home to help us celebrate!

The table, complete with an Eiffel tower in the middle!

Beth's cake, constructed by moi

Fancy Freeze Dance. Yes, I gave lessons. ;-)

The always-loved game, "Don't let the balloon touch the ground!"

Lunch time!

11 girls at our table for lunch

Time to open presents! We took a photo with each girl and her gift, they were all so sweet!

Beth's cake. We all sang happy birthday and Beth wore her trademarked shy smile, I love it!

A photo of me! A rarity as I'm usually the one behind the camera, luckily Aunt Ramona took all the photos this day so I could enjoy the party!

"I love my cake, Mommy!"

*sniff* I can't believe she's almost 5!

She loved her new dress, and her beautiful new pearl bracelets from Daddy.

Bethie and Grandma, who helped with all the party prep and cleanup!

Flashcards

2011-12-15T16:05:00.005-06:00

"I can see the cat"

We've been trudging along with school here, some days are more organized than others but every day offers so many built-in learning opportunities. Beth is most excited by numbers and handwriting, and I've got to say her handwriting is already better than Ryan's. ;-) Recently she's lost interest in continuing her reading lessons so I've stopped using the book because I want her to stay excited about it. Instead we've been using homemade flashcards (which she LOVES) with sight words that she's familiar with, and I'm introducing new words every week. The other day she surprised me by grabbing the flashcards and building a sentence, "I can see the cat." She was so proud of herself, so I had to take a photo!

Here's a video from a week or two ago. Beth is reciting "Singing Time" by Rose Fyleman. Ryan set up the playroom to resemble a stage and theater, and of course Luke wanted to participate too...

St. Nicholas Day

2011-12-14T21:03:00.000-06:00

Last week we had a little visit from St. Nicholas! The kids prepared by writing letters and drawing pictures, and helping me bake some cookies to leave out. Beth was incredibly excited to see what would happen, and she was amazed to see the goodies he left behind. We had been reading books, watching the Veggie Tales St. Nicholas DVD, and talking all week about St. Nick. They knew that he was known to help people out in secret, which is why he'd visit us at night while we were sleeping. St. Nick left everyone oranges, candy canes, gingersnap cookies, new books for everyone, and some little flying model airplane thingies. St. Nick wasn't able to find gluten-free gold coins this year. :-( He'll have to plan better next year!

checking it out when they woke up and came downstairs

the aftermath. three new books each for the kids, a new book for mommy by kimberly hahn, and daddy got a new grill brush- ha!

After they had some cookies we had planned to feast on a crockpot breakfast casserole I had been cooking all night, but it burned so we had our regular breakfast of oatmeal and frozen waffles!

Next year, I hope to do things a little differently. I think I'd like for St. Nick to bring a bigger gift for each child, something they'll get super-excited about...Books are nice but I didn't get the impact I was wanting from them, lol. I want them to also write a letter to Jesus and ask St. Nick to bring it to him. Then we'll have a breakfast that hopefully won't be burned, and have a fun morning playing with their new toys- sort of like a mini-Christmas.

They won't be getting presents from Santa this year, or ever. We've told them that Saint Nicholas brings presents on December 6th to the children who believe in him, and that other children who call him "Santa" will receive gifts on December 25th. I feel horribly funny "deceiving" my children by telling them someone came into our house to bring presents, but there's the element of childhood fantasy and fun that I don't want them to miss out on either. I feel like St. Nick is the compromise between reality and fantasy, and after the discussion Beth told me she liked getting her gifts from St. Nick on December 6 instead of on Christmas day since she'll be getting presents from other people on Christmas day anyways. Ha! So much for the message of the true meaning of Christmas!

These Are a Few of Our Favorite Things!

2011-12-07T21:29:00.001-06:00

Since Christmas is soon and gift buying is well underway, I thought I'd do a silly post about all of the favorite toys we've had around here for the past almost-5 years! There are several toys in our home that have withstood the test of time, a few have surprised me quite a bit and other "classic" toys were worth the extra money to have a well-made toy.

For Beth's first birthday, a friend of the family gave her a Leapfrog Fridge DJ. I thought it was dumb and intended to return it but it somehow became Beth's car toy, and she played with that thing every day in her car during all of our drives. It stayed in the car and she loved it. As she's gotten older, she now can sing along with all of the songs and the silly thing still entertains her! Both Luke and Jack love it too, so it's gotten a lot of use!

Similarly, Beth received this Fisher Price piano for her first Christmas when she was nearly one. All of our children play with it, almost daily, and every time we have friends come over to our house it's one of the most sought-after toys. It sings different songs but also has a mode where it just plays the notes, which entertains Mommy and Daddy sometimes too!

Two years later, when Beth was almost three, she received a Melissa and Doug kitchen. Surprisingly, Beth is starting to outgrow this but she'll still play with it when she gets into it, but the boys still love it. Jack loves standing on a stool and opening and closing the high cabinet, and cramming other toys into the fridge. Jack will play with it by himself for 30 minutes at a time! It's a winner!

For Luke's second birthday, we have two big winners! He received these Melissa and Doug blocks from Grandma and Grandpa and this John Deere weed whacker from Mawmaw and Pawpaw. I have to tell you right now, if you have a son who can walk, or will walk soon, he absolutely needs this weed whacker. Every single boy that has ever entered our home just all out LOVES this toy, and Luke still plays with it daily over a year later. Granted it's broken and doesn't quite work anymore, but he and Jack both know to make a "ptbbbbb" noise that gets their chins and shirts all slobbery, and those boys both whack every single weed growing in our house! Luke has spent countless hours playing with this toy, and since it's a solo toy he usually is happy to wonder around the downstairs by himself, lost in his own little world. The blocks are awesome too, don't get me wrong, that's why they made it on this list! The blocks are also played with every day, usually in conjunction with our Little People. Lately the blocks are shaped like an airplane, church, or house, and Beth and Luke play with the people for quite some time. Our collection of random cars go well with this... On these days, there's hardly a square inch of clean carpet space on the floor! (For All Saint's Day this year, the blocks were transformed into Heaven and we named all the Little People after saints based on what they were holding. We had an interesting lesson on Heaven, Purgatory, and Hell that I was sure would fly right over their heads, until the other day when Beth recited the lesson nearly verbatim to me as she was helping me in the kitchen!) We have several of the Little People sets, but nowadays the kids just play with the people and animals.

One of the most versatile toys we have is our "Fire Truck." Well, that's what we call it. It's like this, but ours isn't Elmo-related and doesn't have wings. Ours makes engine noises, songs that sound like an ice cream truck song, and makes a few other sounds, but that's it. It's a sit or push toy that we bought for Beth for $15 at Wal-Mart. I think it made its video debut on my blog when Beth was climbing and standing on it when she was little, but that toy also gets played with every single day. It's commonly used as a lawn mower by Luke, or the kids will push each other on it around the house and see how fast they can go without wiping out! Jack pulls the seat up and hides his sippy cup in there (if it's ever missing from the table, that's the first place I look at nine times out of ten, it's there!). Cheap toy but a good toy!

Of course we have all the various toys that get lots of use like baby dolls, dress-up costumes, puzzles, and cars and trucks. Those are the ones that we've accumulated a small collection of but each one has it's own special use. We're also book lovers... We love books. We have a lot but our little, sweet Jack has become a book ripper so some of them are in pretty horrible shape. Sometime I should put together a list of our favorite books but it should suffice to say it'd be very long because we read a LOT! We visit the library about every two weeks to bring home 20 or so for the next two weeks. Beth and I are starting to read chapter books together (I read them, she listens, just to clarify... She's not reading chapter books yet!) like Charlotte's Web and The Mouse and the Motorcycle. All three of them will sit down and look at books for any length of time though, I could read to all three of them literally all day long and they'd be happy with it!

One thing we have and love but isn't technically a toy is a CD Player. Beth had one in her room when she was about two years old and would turn it on herself and press play. Now we have one in our playroom where it gets used multiple times a day for kid's CDs or the radio. Lately I've also been using Pandora on my cell phone, but the CD player is definitely another must-have. I find that having soft music on in the background has a calming effect on my kids, and when we have sing-along CDs up loud then there's always lots of dancing and jumping!

That's all I can think as our main favorite toys, and I think the kids would agree with me on those! We're planning a few surprises for Christmas that I think will quickly become new favorites, but these old ones will surely always have their places!

A tool bench!

2011-12-03T20:56:00.000-06:00

Look what Ryan and his dad built today! A real tool bench! Actually, for an anniversary gift in JULY, I surprised Ryan by finding online plans and buying all of the materials for him to do this. However, I don't really need to say that it's too hot to work in the garage in July, and we've been so busy... Well, it's better late than never! He has a sturdy tool bench now and we're hoping to actually organize the garage a bit now. Doesn't it look great?! They worked all day, I'm so proud of him!

Hot Chocolate

2011-11-29T16:15:00.000-06:00

Sunday was a cold day. Weather.com said it was 51 degrees but in the shade with the wind blowing, I'm certain it was much colder than that! My hands were red and freezing, and my ears were hurting because of the wind. Ryan mowed the lawn for what should be the last time this season, and of course Luke had to "help" by pushing his lawn mower aside Ryan. Beth rode her bike and Jack toddled along with me, picking up toys out of the yard and pruning the bushes in the front yard.

By the time Ryan got to the backyard I was freezing cold and went inside to make some hot chocolate. We haven't had any this year yet and the kids don't remember it from last year, so this was a pretty new experience! I found an easy recipe and made my own on the stovetop, distributed it among four mugs, and covered each mug in marshmallows! Needless to say it was a hit!

luke was hesitant to try it at first... once he realized it was warm (and not hot!) he gulped it up.

this one mostly wanted the marshmallows!

i liked her chocolate mustache!

jack ran around the yard and played, no hot chocolate for him!

love

it's rare for me to catch luke giving me a real smile!!! love this!

Our Thanksgiving

2011-11-28T22:02:00.001-06:00

We spent our Thanksgiving this year at my parent's house, driving in on Tuesday and staying until Saturday. It was the typical family affair: lots of people crammed into a house, eating, playing games, drinking, napping, more eating. We were blessed with beautiful weather so we spent a lot of time outside as a family! Ryan and I snuck out to see a movie one night, and another night we went to my brother's apartment to hang out and have some drinks while my brother played bartender. :-)

Our Thanksgiving feast consisted of two turkeys (and some separate turkey cutlets for Beth!), dressing, potatoes, sweet potatoes, green bean casserole, corn, something else I'm forgetting?, and crescent rolls. I love crescent rolls. They were always such a treat, and now an even less-frequent treat! I made some homemade crescent rolls for Beth so she could have her own and she really liked them! They were very buttery but not so flaky, I'll have to work on the recipe more!

Beth, Luke, and Jack of course had loads of fun with everyone! Playing in the backyard on the swings, digging in dirt, chasing each other around. Riding bikes and scooters on the sidewalk (sidewalks are new things to them!), playing with new toys and games...And all of this with some of their favorite people! They keep asking to go back, but then Beth remembers how long the car trip is and says she's happy to be home instead of in the car!

The older kids had a wild game of dodgeball in the backyard one evening. I had a blast but I know someone pounded someone else a little too hard on the arm, and another someone fell back and strained a muscle. It's always fun until someone gets hurt, right? ;-)

I didn't get a ton of photos because I was busy enjoying myself and my wine!

digging

daddy was putting him on top of the basketball goal!

more dirt. lots and lots of dirt.

beth found a nerf gun or something, it was huge and she looked so silly!

Finley trying to get a taste of turkey carcass. He has a weakness for turkey.

dinner time!

ready to eat!

luke has his mouth full... "mom, no more photos, please. i'm busy."

this one looks incredibly dangerous but he was actually quite far away!

fun with pawpaw around the firepit!

Tuesday and Wednesday Photos

2011-11-20T16:12:00.000-06:00

pica thought the pipe cleaners were a toy for her

pipe cleaners + colander= fun for kid and cat

sick bethie on the couch

channeling energy into floral foam with kid tools. he said he was having so much fun!

destroy!

jack wasn't okay with me taking pictures. i've held him all week, my hips are literally chapped.

well enough for a quick game

meanwhile, cobwebs accumulate...

Still Sick

2011-11-20T10:34:00.000-06:00

A quick note to say we're all still sick. Ryan stayed home from work on Friday. Beth seems to be the best off out of all of us, but it hit her first so maybe that's why. Today's the first day Luke seems to be on the mend, so far (crossing fingers and knocking on wood) there's been no fevers from anyone today. We did all stay home from mass though because we're all coughing up nasty stuff and still very lethargic. We're hoping to be over this for Thanksgiving!

Lesson Learned

2011-11-16T13:22:00.000-06:00

Why on earth would I write something like, "The boys didn't get Beth's cold!" and hit publish?

Needless to say, we're all sick, everyone but Ryan. It started simultaneously with Beth, Jack, and me, though the they actually have a fever and I just feel achy. Luke has been mostly spared, but the amount of over-the-top whiny-ness tells me it's about to hit him hard too.

I've been reading a lot lately about nutrition and health, and finally feel like I'm getting somewhere with our health and diets. Once I cut out Chex from the kid's diets, I saw a major improvement in Luke's attitude and his ability to sit down and concentrate on a task. I can't be positive but I think it's the corn.

Feeling at peace is sometimes a hard thing for me, as I feel like I'm constantly seeking ways to improve our lives. I wonder if certain behaviors can be changed because the more I read the more I'm convinced that what goes on in our guts directly affects what goes on in our brains, and when a child is acting out I try to figure out how I can help him or her.

At some point though, I realize it's in God's hands. He's given me the brain and the resources to figure out how to best care for my children, and after I've done all I can I have to give it to him. When Jack was battling his rash for months and months... It was the same thing. We visited so many doctors, tried so many medicines, but in the end I had to find peace in knowing that God was watching over him. It was a hard reminder to put my trust in God when all I wanted so badly was for my little boy to be well again.

So we're all sick and tired. We take efforts to boost our immune systems, get plenty of water and rest, and ask God for quick healing. The good news is it's given me some extra time to cuddle with my boys, who are usually too busy to sit and let Mommy stroke their hair. :-)

Hmm...

2011-11-14T22:08:00.000-06:00

Anyone miss the old days when I used to blog about my interior thoughts and dreams? Yeah, me too. I think I'll start doing that again. But, not today, as I'm off to bed. It's 10:00, it's late! Man, I'm an old lady. :-)

Fall Sickness

2011-11-14T13:06:00.000-06:00

So it's been a few days since my last update... I'm getting pretty terrible at this blogging thing, huh?! When I have a client that's near her due date, I make it a point to go to bed very early each night because I don't know when or if I'll be called in the middle of the night, and this cuts back on my "extracurricular" activities like blogging... and cleaning house... ;-)

We have had our first round of fall sickness in the house, and it struck Beth. She had a fever for several days and was very lethargic, laying around on the couch and napping on and off all day. She didn't really have any other symptoms though, so we treated her fever and gave her time to heal. The boys never got sick!

Unfortunately we had our family pictures scheduled so we went ahead with the shoot, we didn't realize Beth was still sick that morning as she woke up full of energy! By the end of the shoot she was exhausted and had big bags under her eyes, I felt horrible for bringing her outside on a chilly morning! I think we still managed to get a few good ones, hopefully a beautiful one for our Christmas cards!

I'm having a hard time believing November is halfway over, and that Thanksgiving is next week! It doesn't help that it's 80 degrees outside today! I knew it was going to happen, that time would fly by- Luke's birthday always kicks off the busy season around our house! I'm already considering what to buy for Christmas gifts, how to celebrate St. Nick's feast day, Beth's birthday party (the big number 5!), and visiting with our out-of-town friends and family.

I've been feeling pretty good though, and I'm ready for the festivities to begin!

Halloween 2011

2011-11-08T21:39:00.000-06:00

Sorry this Halloween post is a little late! :-) We skipped out on the All Saint's Day party this year because I just didn't have it in me to prepare costumes. We've gone the past two years and the kids had fun, and I know they would have enjoyed it even more this year. I wasn't up for it, though! So we just did plain old trick-or-treating, which they enjoyed quite a bit. Beth went as a Monarch butterfly, Luke was a farmer on a tractor, and Jack was his cow. The idea was for Luke to be Farmer Brown from the book Click Clack Moo, and Jack was to be a cow with a typewriter. But I couldn't find a typewriter, so he was just a cow! They went out with Ryan for about 30 minutes, while I stayed home expecting the door bell to ring... Except it didn't. Okay, it rang once while they were gone, and once after they got home. TWO trick-or-treaters! Ryan told me a lot of families brought their candy to the end of their driveways to hand out to the kids (we have very long driveways in our neighborhood) so I guess that's why we didn't get many kids knocking at our door. OH WELL, more candy for us! Hehehehe...

I wish I could explain the mad rush that it was once the kids got home, to dump out their candy and go through it. Well, most of my blog readers have children so I'm sure they experienced the same thing... Kid comes in with a spark in his eye...on a mission. I'm sure all that was going through their little brains was, "gimmecandygimmecandygimmecandy," but at least they were patient enough for Mommy and Daddy go pick out the gluten-filled candy and trade it out with some (healthier) gluten-free options. Like Yummy Earth suckers for all other the other suckers. They each had a few pieces then we shuffled them off to bed, promising a few pieces after lunch the following day. So far they've had two or three pieces after meals each day, and between that and Daddy bringing a big bag of it to share at work, we've demolished the rest!

Pumpkin Carving

2011-11-08T20:42:00.001-06:00

Luke's Birthday Party

2011-10-30T12:05:00.000-05:00

His cake, made by Mommy of course. He loved it! In retrospect I should have put the M&Ms a little closer together but overall I'm happy with it!

Bethie and MawMaw

MawMaw and the birthday boy, who is addicted to juice bags

Jack wasn't so entertained with Uncle Alex's blower thingie. (We couldn't figure out what the technical name for those things are!)

Luke had so much fun with our out-of-town guests!

A silly smile, he was too excited to play with the diggers!

I think he had some help blowing out his candle. ;-)

Look at all those presents!

He got a firetruck! Look at that smile!

A few new books, including Daddy's favorite, "I Stink!"

Coolest toy, a working drill and little toys with screws to drill. He loves this!

The banner I made for his birthday!

I'm planning on using this in the future too!

We made some coordinating flag banners also, and birthday cards mixed in with my Halloween mantel.

Boots

2011-10-27T18:00:00.000-05:00

Ryan's Half-Marathon

2011-10-26T18:00:00.002-05:00

Before the race began, psyching himself up no doubt

Ryan's cheering section. Eating breakfast.

And they're off! Yes, this hill is right at the start of the race, and not the only hill he had to run. He didn't train on any hills and this is what nearly did him in.

We had lots of time to kill so we ate some more breakfast (Chex in a bag) on a hill.

I think she was expecting to watch people run the entire time, poor girl was rather bored.

Halfway done! Only six and half miles to go!

Minutes after Ryan finished. He really sprinted those last hundred yards or so, and given that this was his first time to ever complete this distance, he was exhausted. And sore. But he did it!

Blah Blah Blah...

2011-10-25T21:26:00.000-05:00

I've had a lot on my mind lately. But I'm just going to start typing, and see where this ends up. Maybe I'll edit a lot, maybe I'll just let the random thoughts be.

So, it's been a rough month. The craziness has continued and, though this things haven't happened to me, they've affected me directly. I think it's safe to say this has been one of the hardest months in my life.
I'm a passionate person, and a somewhat private person. (Ha, you'd never think that given how much information I post on this blog for the entire internet world to read, but in real life I'm actually kinda quiet.) I'm passionate about lots of things, and used to be pretty outgoing and would tell people what I thought. Especially in high school and college, I'd say I did a lot of things because I wasn't afraid of what other people thought of me, I only wanted to share my thoughts, feelings, and opinions. Well, somewhere along the way I developed a sense of privacy and concern for what others thought of me. It's sort of silly but I can't go back to the way I used to be, and frankly I don't want to. I remember times I was quite the fool, I can only imagine what others actually were thinking of me!

So, here I am, pushing 30 and feeling pretty beat up. I've faced things in the past month I never thought I'd actually have to face. I hate looking at myself in the mirror because I feel like I've aged so much in one month, like the bags and wrinkles under my eyes all of the sudden make me look like an old lady. I'm in a desperate need of a hair cut so my hair is so frizzy and wild when I wake up (and all day if I don't have the chance to straighten it). I haven't worked out regularly since August because my schedule has been so hectic, and I've had hardly any free time in the evenings to go to the gym, so my body is feeling weak. In fact, I've been having some dizziness issues again so I'm just wondering if my body my actually collapse one day.

The good news is that my body has moved on from my miscarriage. It took no time at all for my body to ovulate again, but that has made my heart angry. My heart is still broken, still sad. I've purposefully allowed myself time to grieve because I truly believe that trying to forget about it would only hurt myself in the future. So my heart is sad, but then here goes my body, like, "Wohoo, let's do this again!" Mentally and emotionally, I'm not ready for that, but apparently my silly, misguided body is.

I'm finally taking my HCG hormone shots. I had hormone tested in June which showed some deficiencies during the end of my cycle, which would explain some of my feelings. My doctor prescribed these HCG shots, which I administer to myself every other day, as a means to help my body figure things out. I can tell that it's made my head a lot clearer, which is such a blessing. Yes, I still have to deal with the day-to-day craziness, but at least my head is clear.

Which leads me to my next topic. My children. I love them so much that I can't put it into words, but man they can tear me down. I know it's not intentional; they're babies. Babies. But they order me around, tear up my house, don't listen to me, and boss each other around. It's hard, I'm not gonna lie. I do count my blessings: I am thankful that the toys strewn about the house mean we have a house to begin with, and dishes in the sink means we had food to eat. A little respect from them would probably prevent a few gray hairs, though.

Ryan's been so busy with work, and I've been busy with my doula work too. There have been some nights when he gets home from work and I have to immediately walk out to meet with a client. I love this and hate this at the same time. I love being able to engage my brain and talk to clients, offer my advice, discuss their options. It makes me very happy to be able to serve others in this capacity, I truly do feel like my line of work is very much a ministry since, especially at this point, I'm hardly making any money! But it's hard too because it means Ryan and I haven't seen much of each other lately, and when we are together we're both exhausted. I feel like we need a weekend away so badly, but I have no idea if and when this could even happen.

I'm ready to put this month behind me and, after Halloween (not my favorite holiday), get excited about upcoming holidays. Dare I say cool weather? I am so done with being stressed out, this holiday season is going to be about peace more than anything. Loving each other, enjoying our time together without worrying about the details. Letting go of ideas that things "have" to be a certain way and just enjoying them for the way they are. I just want to make sweet memories with my husband and children.

Please continue to pray for me as I process everything that's happened and face several big things about to happen.

Now We Are Three

2011-10-23T21:08:00.000-05:00

Luke, today is your third birthday! Happy day to you! We will celebrate by having a few friends and family members come over to share some cake with you. You requested M&M's and Mommy knows you love big machines so I will decorate your cake specially for you!

The night before your birthday we tried to go to a pumpkin patch, but they had no pumpkins! You were so disappointed, but we went out to dinner instead and you shared a hamburger with Daddy. We promised to get a pumpkin later in the week!

Daddy and I wanted to share a few things about you right now that we love and want to remember. When we go places, you always ask us, "Who mowed this grass?" You are still obsessed with mow mows and weed whackers! You love to watch anyone mow, but you prefer not to watch the weed whacker because you're worried you might get hurt. You will watch Daddy from the safety of the house!

You have new tennis shoes, "just like Daddy." And they do look like Daddy's, even with the neon green! You want to wear these new shoes everywhere!

You talk all the time. Seriously. If you're quiet in the car for two minutes, I'm sure you've fallen asleep because otherwise you're asking questions, talking about what we'll do next, talking to Beth, requesting music (your "new favorite Daddy song"), or playing with a toy by talking to yourself. Lots of talk.

Even when we're reading books you're asking questions! You love to read, I'm sure we could easily sit and read for several hours and you'd be perfectly content. But, you do have to ask what certain things are, or your favorite question, "Why?"

You are so spirited, have such high energy levels, and are so very outgoing. I am so curious to see how you grow and change in the upcoming year! We love you sweet boy!

Gluten-Free Girl, One Year Later

2011-10-21T08:33:00.000-05:00

Today marks the one-year anniversary of Beth's endoscopic biopsy, and then October 30 is the one-year date of when she officially began her gluten-free diet. It's been a whole year already.

Going through some of my old blog posts from last year brought me to tears. Finally realizing why Beth had been in pain for so many months. Her first tastes of gluten-free bread and pasta- she loved them. Watching her clothes get smaller as she grew taller, watching her bloated belly thin out. Noticing short, sweet hairs growing on her precious little head... Hairs I didn't even realize she had been missing. The dark bags under her eyes... Gone.

She always asks if the food she's been given is gluten-free. She will proudly tell anyone she has a gluten-free tummy, and I think she understands the idea that what she eats is different then what most people eat. However, it doesn't bother her that her food is different- not yet anyways. I realize it might not always be easy for her to stick to her diet, but as of now Ryan and I are doing our best to provide her with the best!

We've been given so many opportunities to share about our gluten-free lifestyle with other families, which has left other parents wondering if they should have their children tested. It's estimated that 1 in 133 people have celiac disease, and it's diagnosed in childhood now more than ever. Why? Is testing better now? Or is something we're doing/exposing our children to the culprit? As you can imagine, I've read so much about it, and all I can conclude is that I have to provide the best possible diet for all three of my children. We avoid possible triggers, are quick to treat gastrointestinal distress, and are always on the lookout for potential triggers. We avoid food dyes, preservatives, sulfites/sulfates, and GMOs as much as possible. We now drink organic milk and eggs, and I'm hoping to move to organic fruits/veggies/meat sooner than later. We take probiotics and work hard to boost our immune systems with fruits and most recently, elderberry syrup. Really, it's very similar to the ADHD diet, and based on my reading, just a healthy diet in general. It's a lot of work initially, but we should all be eating this way. And it's worth every penny of the financial sacrifice.
If one of the boys is diagnosed, it won't be the end of the world. Celiac disease is completely manageable. I'll be disappointed for them like I was disappointed for Beth, but we'll get through it. There are other conditions that tend to go hand-in-hand with celiac disease, but again, we'll cross that bridge when and if we get there!

As of now, Beth is a healthy, growing, beautiful, amazing little girl who has tons of energy! And, as most almost-5-year-olds, tons of attitude! By my rough calculations, she's grown over two inches and gained several pounds in a year, I should have more accurate measurements in December when we go for a follow-up visit. She's a wonderful big sister, quite bossy, and full of imagination. We know that she'll continue to thrive now that her body is getting the nutrients it needs, and I definitely look forward to seeing what this next year has in store for her!

Luke's New Game

2011-10-19T20:45:00.000-05:00

our newest little friend, a green hummingbird. he's the only one we've ever seen at our feeder that we put up two weeks ago, but he seems happy to have found it because he comes several times a day!

I was recently talking to some friends about Luke. Sunday is his third birthday, and I was trying to discern if some of his behaviors were normal or abnormal. Of course, it's so hard to say because all kids are different so I can't compare him to Beth, he's a boy, he's a middle child, and he's just my Lukey! I mentioned that Luke loves his weed whacker more than anything else, and someone pointed out this is a gross motor development thing. Luke isn't interested in sitting down and coloring for more than, oh, 30 seconds, but he will weed whack his heart out for 30 minutes easily. So I came up with a learning game using gross motor movements, but also trying to help him learn the sounds and letters of the alphabet. I wrote out A on a sheet of construction paper and placed it near the window, then a B went by the tv, a C went on one couch, and a D went on the other couch. Beth (who knows her letters and sounds but wanted to play too!) and Luke started at the fireplace, and I'd called out a sound. They had to run to the letter that made the sound. Let's just say this game was a hit, they had so much fun and were giggling up a storm!

Later, when Beth was working solo, Luke and I played a similar game but he had to weed whack the letter that matched the sound I made. I'd let him go at it for a minute or two, until he was done, and then would say another sound. He thought it was so silly at first but loved the game after a couple of letters!

My goal will be to go through the alphabet with him with these games, similar games, and to quickly get my hands on some Montessori-style sandpaper letters. I think he'd do very well with these as he does well with the tactile stimulation. Anyone have any recommendations for similar products?

This is a picture of Beth illustrating (and later narrating) an old testament story of Abram and Lot. She was happy with her final picture but the first picture she drew was priceless:

It cracked me up because I thought it was supposed to be ME! I was laughing so hard on the inside because I didn't want to laugh out loud and let her think I didn't like her drawing. Once I clarified with her that it wasn't a picture of me, I put it aside and she started working on another attempt.

Today we had our preschool pray and play group over at our home, as we do twice a month. St. Therese was the topic and the kids made this craft.

So cute! Luke had one too but he ran off to play as soon as he was done so I didn't get a picture! We have so much fun with this group, we're so glad to be a part of it!

No More Cable TV

2011-10-16T21:25:00.000-05:00

sort of a sad way to watch a football game!

I can't remember if I've blogged this or not, but we ditched our cable several months ago. We tried in vain to figure out a way to hook our computer up to our television, but due to the age of our tv and the input types, it's nearly impossible! We've been reduced to watching our favorite shows on the computer, which hasn't been a huge deal but it's sort of... inconvenient? Uncomfortable? We kept the tv hooked up to the DVD player so the kids can watch DVDs, but that was all it was good for.

Until last week. Ryan bought a converter box and an antenna. Do you know how much it was hurting him to watch football on the computer screen? Lots. Well, since we're not in the city we don't get great reception, but we now get the basic channels which means Ryan can watch most of the football games. Yesterday's game was on a regular channel, so I took the above photo of Ryan and Beth watching the game on the computer. Don't you feel sorry for him?

beth and jack, enjoying a snack while luke finishes his late nap

Random School Pics

2011-10-11T17:00:00.003-05:00

reviewing at the end of the week. we didn't get much schooling done during our rough two weeks, so we had lots of reviewing to do before we get back into things again!

sorting shapes and colors. after this we made patterns.

counting/numbers

black beans and water play. biiiig mess.

measuring cups and spoons.

and jack had a snack!

finger paints, an even bigger mess!

somehow mixing all the colors made purple!

paint up to her elbows!

they love to read, jack was even sitting on the couch reading!

luke's pray and play craft

beth's pray and play craft, we had a lesson on sincerity

We are on week 5 in our lesson plans, and mostly ahead of where we should be. Beth loves handwriting and anything with numbers, either writing or counting, sorting, adding, and subtracting. We're continuing on in the bible, reading and illustrating as we go. We're on lesson 25 of our reading lessons (out of 100 lessons) and Beth's first sight words (other than her name) include Mom, Dad, no, and cat. I have some flashcards we might start this week with other sight words like the, at, that, etc. Luke joins in on most of our school lessons and participates to some extent, I've been surprised at how easily he memorizes the poetry! Jack is starting to drop his morning nap so this is presenting a bit more of a challenge about when we get our school work done. He's not napping but that doesn't mean he's happy either, so dealing with a grumpy baby means we school when he's happy! Ahh, Mommy's first lesson in flexibility. ;-)

My Babies

2011-10-10T17:00:00.000-05:00

A Trip to Town

2011-10-10T16:45:00.004-05:00

I've been feeling that with everything going on lately, our little family needed some time to get out and reconnect. I had purchased some children's museum passes on groupon recently so we decided to go to town for the day. First was the children's museum, and oh boy did they have fun! A lot of it was over there heads but they could have cared less, they had a blast. Their favorite parts were playing in the small "city" where they could go into kid-sized versions of places like a bank, restaurant, vet's office, and an ambulance, and the outdoor water play area was a big hit too. Wouldn't you know it rained though? We've had a drought for months and months and it rained on the day we planned to take them to play outside and have a picnic. Figures! It did dry up a bit so that we could go outside for a few minutes; Luke loved using tubes to redirect water that was pumped out of the stream, and Beth and Jack ran around and checked everything else out. I love watching Luke get really drawn into something though, it takes a lot for something to grab his attention so much that he'll stop paying attention to everything else.

After the museum we drove to a park where we had a picnic lunch. It was still wet but not raining, so we dealt with puddles but the kids didn't seem to mind that too much! We had to stand in line in order to ride on the train, and thank goodness because the sky opened up and it poured for about 10 minutes, those poor people on the train ride before us got soaking wet! We rode the little train around the park and both kids said this was their favorite part of the day! (It was probably Jack's favorite part too as he nursed the entire train ride, ha!) It was about 2:00 after the train ride and everyone was clearly about to fall asleep so we left to come back home.

Later that afternoon Grandma and Grandpa came over to visit the kiddos, their first time to see them in a few weeks since they'd been out of town. When Beth found out they were coming over, she declared, "This is the best day EVER!" and Ryan and I cracked up. We had dinner and took the kids outside to play on their new bikes- Luke's "new" Spiderman bike was an early birthday present from Mawmaw and Pawpaw! Beth's bike isn't new but since her training wheel broke a couple of months ago, we decided that instead of buying her new training wheels we'd just take them off and see if she can ride! Well, it took about four days of practice, but yes, she can ride. Pretty well too, though I am concerned about her learning how to stop the right way! Jack will sometimes push himself on his rocket (Luke's old rocket) but usually prefers to be pushed around in the umbrella stroller!

I should add that, for the record, it rained ALL DAY on Sunday! This is easily the first time in months it has rained this much. I'm pretty sure Jack doesn't know what rain is, he seemed a little confused when he was in the garage checking it out! We had a lazy day at home and recuperated from our busy Saturday.

I love that the kids are getting old enough that we can do fun activities like this an not have to worry so much about naptimes or following a schedule so rigidly. I feel like they're finally able to start enjoying things that our city has to offer! And, I didn't bring my camera or take pictures because I wanted to be fully in the moment with my kids. I love having photos of them but feel like when I'm trying to take pictures, I'm just observing what happens, so the only pictures I have from the day are a few that were taken on my phone!

Beth rides on two wheels!

2011-10-09T20:07:00.000-05:00

A Plea

2011-10-05T21:10:00.001-05:00

So let's see... Two posts about the two big things that happened. But, for my future reference, let me recap:

In-laws came to town 9/18, spent the night, left for Italy the next morning.
Mom and two brothers came to town, spent several nights with us helping us paint our downstairs
My grandfather passed away on Thursday, 9/22
The rest of my family came to town for the funeral, which was held 9/26
The next day, 9/27, I started spotting.
9/28, had an ultrasound that showed Samuel's loss was due to a blighted ovum
10/3, two clients had their babies, I attended both births. The highlights of my week!
10/4, in-laws came back to town, Ryan told them the news and I updated this blog

I'm not trying to feel sorry for myself and am not posting to fish for sympathy. I am allowing myself time to heal and grieve, but I just have to put this all together and make sense of it. This was a very difficult two weeks, but I have to say it could have been so much worse. It sounds awful but I just kept waiting for something else to go wrong, and I'm so very thankful it didn't. I am so thankful that I have my faith to rely on; God has gifted me with unwavering faith and for that I'm so very grateful because I'm not quite sure how I could have done this if I were having a crisis of faith. I'm emotionally beat up, and even though I've seen my husband and children every day I feel like I haven't been truly present for them lately. I miss them. I miss feeling like myself but I know once my hormones settle down I'll feel normal again. Well, I'll feel normal, but I'll never be the same.

If you don't read my other blog for my doula work then you probably didn't know that I attended two births on Monday! Both moms had gone past their due dates so their pending labors were lingering in the back of my mind during all of this, but again I'm so very thankful that it all worked out and I was able to attend both of their births! What a crazy juxtaposition. Two deaths and two lives. One Monday I'm at a funeral and the next I'm at a birth- well, two births. Holding two precious newborns was good for my heart and soul, these moms don't know how good it was for me. They think they're grateful to me for helping them, but really I'm the grateful one.

I can only pray that we have a quiet October. Luke's birthday is less than 3 weeks away, and I've always felt that his birthday is the kickoff to the holiday season because it gets busy and hectic. I am going to try my hardest to relax and lay low for the next couple of weeks. Recuperate. Reconnect. Rejuvenate.

I would like to thank everyone- here and on Facebook- for their prayers during this time. I can only imagine the mess I'd be if I didn't have so many people storming heaven on our behalf. I know this is probably a hard concept for many people to deal with, but once again I am thankful to my faith for guiding me through a time that might have otherwise been a very confusing experience. I believe life begins at conception, therefore I know I was pregnant and I carried my sweet little baby until God called him home, for a reason unbeknownst to me. I believe that one day I will see my little boy, Samuel, and that one day God may decide to reveal to me why this has all happened. I can honestly say I'm not so concerned with why it happened, but just sad that this was the way it did happen. But my thought is that God knew our family needed an intercessor in heaven, to pray for his parents, brothers, and sister, uncles, aunts, grandparents, and other family members. I firmly believe Samuel is in the company of his other relatives who have gone before him. And now all I can think about is leading a virtuous life so that I can meet him, in heaven, on the day when God calls me home.

So, please, I beg and plead. And will beg and plead with you in real life too if you make me. I will never stop praying. Please turn back to God. Please turn back to the faith. Please don't put it off any more. Please, I beg you, because I want you to meet my Samuel in heaven one day too. Please ask God to reveal Himself in your life, and follow Him. It's not worth putting off any longer, for whatever reason you've left Him. Make peace with your life, your decisions, your choices, and reconcile. None of us know the day or the hour that God will call us home, and all I can think about is how badly I want each and every one of you to see how beautiful my son Samuel is. Don't wait any longer, please.

A New Saint in Heaven

2011-10-04T21:45:00.000-05:00

I've born a life into God's hands, something I never thought I would do. We've lost a baby to miscarriage, and I'm just so sad that for whatever reason God decided this baby was better off in His arms than in mine. I'm not angry, just very sad. Sad that I won't see this little person's fingers or toes, or hear how he would laugh. Sad that Jack is a big brother but no one knows it. Sad because my womb harbored life for several weeks, and now all of the sudden it's empty. It aches for my baby.

If anything, the loss of this baby has put my focus more on heaven, reminding me that every day my goal has to be heaven so that I can meet my little saint. I know I'll hold him one day, but I'm sad that day is so far away.

Our family has a new little patron saint in heaven. I know he has several friends to play with, and I take comfort in knowing that my Pops is probably keeping him entertained, sitting him in his lap and teaching him how to play piano until I arrive to scoop him up and give him the big hug I want so badly to give to him.

Please pray for Ryan and me, as we grieve this loss... In my womb for a few short weeks, but forever in ours hearts. We named him Samuel. St. Samuel, pray for us!

A Time of Loss

2011-09-29T17:18:00.001-05:00

I'll just start at the beginning, because otherwise it won't make any sense.

My mom came to visit last Monday. My two youngest brothers are homeschooled now, so my mom decided to bring them in for a quick visit since they never made it in before summer ended. My grandparents live very nearby, so their plan was to spend a couple of nights with us and a couple of nights with my grandmother. My grandfather lived with a caretaker due to his Alzheimer's.

My mom and grandmother went to visit my Pops on Wednesday morning, and on Thursday morning my mom got a call that he had passed. There was no way of knowing that Thursday morning would be the day, there's no way to explain why my mom just happened to come to town to visit and just happened to visit him the day before. It was just one of those "coincidences" that can only be explained by God's intervention.

Family came to town, and we all cried and mourned. Our grandfather was, as the priest talked about during his funeral mass, a "big" man. Not literally but he had a huge personality! I have so many wonderful memories, from spending summers with him and my grandmother, to visits that they made to our home while I was growing up. Watching him deteriorate over the years has been hard, and we all knew his time was growing closer each day, but for me that doesn't make his passing any easier. I mourn the past 10 years, time he could have spent loving his family, making more memories, and getting to know his great grandchildren.

His visitation was Sunday night and funeral on Monday morning. His grandsons were pallbearers and the granddaughters brought up the gifts during the offertory at mass. We buried him in a nearby cemetery, one that I pass by frequently, so every time I pass by I'll be reminded to offer a prayer for the souls in purgatory.

I appreciated spending time with family I wouldn't have otherwise seen until Christmas, but it's also sad to come together to mourn. I had the opportunity to explain death to Bethany, who hasn't experienced death yet. She wanted to see his body so I took her to see him, and explained that his soul was gone and left an empty body. She said, "So he's like a statue?" I thought that was a pretty good way to explain it to a kid, so I said yes. She was okay with that and so was I. She knew everyone was sad and that she needed to be polite and mindful of everyone's feelings; I thought she was (once again) very mature for her age throughout the whole thing.

It was hard to say goodbye but I feel so blessed to have the gift of faith, and the peace that his death isn't the end. My faith continues to be a constant compass to navigate me through life, and now in death, and I am so very grateful because I cannot imagine having to face disease and death without God.

Sleep Comes

2011-09-28T20:22:00.000-05:00

Tonight I watched Luke fall asleep. I wasn't feeling well so I invited him to curl up on the couch next to me, 6 inches between our noses.

He closed his eyes. They twitched- a lot. I didn't think it was real because they were twitching so much, but he never opened them back up.

He pinched my thigh with his toes, and dug them in as his leg twitched around.

His curled fingers would occasionally stroke the pillow he was laying on.

Eyes twiched more. Lots more.

His breathing was regular the first minute or two, and slowed as his eyes slowed. His eyes popped open one time, looked at me, then closed and then it was as if that's when his sleep came.

His breath slowed. He stopped moving. His eyes moved under his eyelids, but slowly now. It reminded me of a baby in my belly slowly moving under my skin.

I noticed beads of sweat on the back of his neck. We were snuggled together under a heavy blanket, so I wiped his neck and pulled the blanket down a bit.

I watched him sleep for about 10 minutes, until Ryan came into the room and took a couple of minutes to watch him sleep next to me. Then Ryan carried him to his bed upstairs.

I wish I gotten a picture. These beautiful moments... I have to store them in my memory because I never have any pictures of these rare, beautiful moments.

Fresh Paint

2011-09-28T18:53:00.000-05:00

I've been chomping at the bit, ready to paint our downstairs, so when my mom decided to come visit and stay a few days I thought it would be a good time to paint. In a matter of a few intense nights we got most of the downstairs done. We are saving our two-story foyer for a professional! We chose two Sherwin Williams colors, color-matched to Behr premium flat enamel. The color for most of the downstairs is Dorian Gray, and the playroom is Dovetail, which is just a shade darker. It's hard to tell a difference unless you're really looking! The colors are gorgeous, it really takes our house up a notch and to me makes everything look a tad bit more formal- which I love! Part of me wishes maybe we'd chosen a shade that was more different for the playroom. In a few years, when it's more of a sitting room and less of a destruction room, I hope we'll add some bead board and crown molding! We planned on painting the foyer a dark blue, but now I'm thinking a red or maroon might be magnificent and provide more of a contrast. We'll see...

next up is for me to "stain" the handrail a darker shade. we'll paint the trim when we get our new floors in a year or two.

our help- mom and david. thank you both so much!!!

Dots

2011-09-28T15:21:00.000-05:00

I am not planning on documenting every single thing we do- because I'd just be re-copying the syllabus!- but I will take a few pics of projects and fun things we do! I had some magnetic colored dots that the kids played with on cookie sheet. And a cute pic of Jack in one of his new diapers!

Jack

2011-09-17T23:38:00.000-05:00

Jackson Paul

{almost 15 months}

Likes:

dancing

wrestling

climbing

belly buttons

eating yogurt, chex, and crackers

turning off and on lighswitches

standing on his head

books

Doesn't Like:

sleeping

napping

staying still

being away from mommy

toys stolen away from him

What I Want to Remember:

sweet snuggles before bedtime

nursing moments, jack twirling my hair around his fingers while i kiss his toes

carrying the stool to the bookshelf, climbing high to reach books

running to grab his shoes when he hears the word "outside"

primitive words: "ball" "up" "ma" more"

his long tuft of hair that always sticks up in the back

New Dancing Scarves

2011-09-13T20:59:00.000-05:00

Just got some scarves today! Beth immediately knew what to do with them, so funny how girls don't need any explanation on how to dance. :-)

Pre School!

2011-09-09T21:53:00.000-05:00

This week was our first full week of school! Well, we started on Tuesday since Monday was labor day. :-)

Beth is 4.5, which means she technically isn't kindergarten age yet. After lots of thought and prayer, we decided to start her on a homeschool kindergarten curriculum but still call it preschool, and just take it slowly with her. We chose a classical, Catholic curriculum called Mother of Divine Grace, and it's pretty much fool proof. ;-) It spells out everything I need to do with each subject, but allows me the flexibility to deviate if I want or need to. And since I'm using it as preschool, we're planning on deviating a lot!

My small little compilation of our books.

I love the ideas of Charolotte Mason, Maria Montessori, and sometimes I think unschooling is pretty neat (though I'm too much of a wimp to try to pull it off!). Since the MODG curriculum seems a little dry to me, we're definitely jazzing it up with some of these other ideas and theories, plan to spend a lot of time outdoors doing nature study and playing, and of course, just reading some good books.

My feelings on public versus homeschool are still up in the air. I feel very drawn toward homeschooling for several reasons, the biggest one being that I truly believe that God put us together as a family for a reason. He entrusted me with my children's souls, and my number one priority should be getting their souls to heaven. I'm not saying that this couldn't happen by them going to public school, but it sure could change their journey quite a bit, and that is a risk that, at this point in our lives, I'm not willing to take! Of course I worry about whether or not it's the right decision, but knowing that I'll take this one year at a time brings me peace- if it's wrong or not working for us, we will cross that bridge when we get there. And the first question people as me is, "But how will they be socialized?" I feel confident that won't be an issue! In fact, I've heard members of our homeschool group joke that if anything, their children are over-socialized and don't spend enough time doing schoolwork! We are members of a very large, very active homeschool group, and we participate in those activities, play with friends, go to the library and museum, do quite a bit of shopping, etc. I am not confining them to the permiter of our lot; there will be (as there always has been) plenty of opportunities to "socialize!" The next question people ask is when do I do it... Well, Jack still naps in the morning! We get our serious work done then, and plan other fun activities while he's awake.

my daily schedule

So without further ado... Here's what we did for our first week. (I won't post this every week, but I'm sure many are interested in how a typical week will look for us!) We will have school Monday- Thursday, and spend Fridays doing outdoor activities, having playdates, or doing special activities. Here's my new and improved schedule- and I actually stuck to it about 90% this week!!!
Poetry: We worked on memorizing the poem Rain, by Robert Louis Stevenson. To my surprise, Beth and Luke had it memorized by the third day, so we decided to add to the lesson plan by practicing nice posture and a created a small presentation for Daddy for Friday afternoon. This is the video from Thursday's practice session, which was pretty funny. The had so much fun doing this! Next time I think we need to add props! (This video is from our practice yesterday, today's presentation for Daddy involved quite a bit more giggling!)

her illustration of the poem

Handwriting: The letter "A." This was probably the most challenging part of our week, because my goal is to teach Beth the correct strokes to write her letters. I think we'll avoid this workbook for awhile and do fun activities for handwriting, like practice writing letters on a ziplock bag full of shaving cream or paint! I want this to be fun for her and definitely don't want to stress her out!

Math: We started with figuring out how many numbers she can identify. One game we played was I showed her a number and asked her to build me a tower using that many blocks. She loved this game.

Religion: We started at the beginning: Genesis! We read in her children's bible the story of creation a couple of days in a row, then Beth illustrated what she remembered and narrated it back to me. This was her rest time project one day- I set her up in her room with her crayons, colored pencils, and paper, and she worked in her room while the boys napped and I worked downstairs. I also have a separate program that we'll dip into when we have some extra time.
Reading/Phonics: We are moving a little faster than the syllabus suggests because we had started Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons a long time ago! Beth can read easy words, so we will continue to work through this book and practice lots of sight words. We're also reading lots of library books, like normal, and are about halfway through Charlotte's Web. My goal is to purchase 3-5 new books a month, to build up our library with a lot of good wholesome books, that all of the children will enjoy for years to come!

Science: I have a supplemental book from a different curriculum that has science "experiments" that we'll do once a week. This week we guessed if certain household items would float or sink in a bucket of water. They also loved this activity; we collected items around the house, hypothesized whether they would float or sink, then performed the experiment. A true science experiment. ;-)

Art: I'm not sure how I feel about the art program recommended by the syllabus. This week was sort of fun but I'm not sure how much we'll enjoy it in the future. We had cards, similar to postcards, that each had a different painting. We attempted to memorize the names of the paintings, played "memory" with the cards, talked about the different elements of each painting, and chose our favorite and our least favorite. Beth's least favorite in this group was called Woman, Bird, and Star by Joan Miro. I thought it'd be fun to try to copy the painting, so we spent awhile working on our own works of art!

What was in our folders at the end of the week, where we keep our papers for daddy to examine when he gets home from work! From left to right: Beth's drawing of creation, Beth's version of Woman, Bird, and Star, the real painting card, Luke's version (drawn mostly by me), and a page of stamps that Luke did.

Music: We have a CD we're supposed to listen to but this week we had two new CDs of fun kid's music so we listened and danced to those instead! We also use rhythm stickers, shakers, and I just ordered some scarves for us to dance with too!

Generally, Luke joins us in our activities. He memorized Rain with Beth,worked on letter recognition while Beth and I worked on handwriting, did science, art, and music with us, and of course wants to hear all the stories I read! I can already tell he has a very different learning style than Beth as he's much more active than she is, although he loves to read just as much as she does! Beth is content to sit and draw for an hour, Luke doesn't sit still for more than a few minutes at a time! I hope to learn a lot more about different learning styles and how to best help him learn as he seems like he will need something a little different than Beth.

Overall, our days have a wonderful flow; I've stayed on top of housework and meals and I feel like my days have more of a meaning. What's best is that the kids are having a blast! Beth and Luke are really getting into everything, asking to "do school," and Jack loves playing and dancing alongside us! I'm sure I'm still on a high due to how well things went this week, but I feel confident that we're going to be successful!

Weekend of Firsts

2011-09-06T19:11:00.002-05:00

Friday, September 2 was First Friday, and we had our First activity of the year for our homeschool group. Our group met for mass (the children's First time at this parish), then went to a new park for the First time. They had a lot of fun playing with some old friends and making some new friends! Finally I'm starting to feel like one of the "seasoned" moms in our group, and my older children are finally old enough that they'll go off and actually play with friends instead of me having to entertain them! A new First feeling!

We had a birthday party for Mary, as in the Mother of God, whose nativity we celebrate on September 8. We made a cupcake rosary, sang happy birthday, and made a craft of a "vase" with flowers to present to Mary on her birthday.

(Two days later, Beth was telling an adult friend that we went to a birthday party for Mary on Friday. The friend asked, "Mary who?" And Beth said, "You know, Mary, she had two kids? We sang happy birthday to her?" I realized Beth thought the birthday party for Mary was for one of the Moms that belonged to our group, lol.)

Saturday morning we visited a new garden center for the First time, and I hope not the last! We loved it! It was a beautiful morning, the kids were in a good mood, and it was nice talking to an employee who actually knew which plants to recommend to us given our deer situation! Saturday afternoon was spent working outside; I think it's safe to say we all spent 75% of Saturday outside! We planted our new plants in the front gardens and a few in the back, where we also made some new garden beds. Ryan and I have a vision for our backyard that involves less grass to mow and beautiful, overgrown gardens that look like something from a magazine. We took that First step to fulfill that vision on Saturday!

before. dead grass, septic tank, nothing pretty.

Sunday morning, after mass and brunch, we went to Home Depot to buy a few more rocks for our garden, and spent Sunday afternoon working outside again!

after. the start of something beautiful...when the plants grow up and cover up the cheap brick!

Ryan had Monday off and so he stayed home with the boys and I took Beth to buy some craft supplies and to our new fabulous grocery store for the First time. Well, her First time to go, my fourth. ;-) That afternoon we had friends over for the First time and grilled some ribs!

Which brings me to today! Our First day of school! We eased into the day, I didn't make a huge deal of it because I wanted everyone to be in good spirits and not expecting too much from me! I am happy to say our first day was a huge success, and I will blog more about our school soon!

Luke's Dancing Debut

2011-09-02T12:29:00.000-05:00

Aunt Ramona got a good video of Luke dancing at the wedding in St. Louis! He danced like this all night, and we have no idea where he got this move from...

This Week In Pictures

2011-08-31T21:45:00.000-05:00

Beth started her third year of ballet two Mondays ago! She's in a bigger girl class now and I can tell she's going to get a lot more out of it this year! She's been very excited about going to class!

Jack seemed to want me to take his photo too!

Yesterday Beth discovered the broom handle was magnetic. So she lined up the letters on the pole.

Football-themed cookies for Daddy. He had his fantasy football draft last night, his favorite night of the year!

And here he is, picking the team of his dreams. He's going to win it all this year. :-)

This guy has been living on my hip all week, I think he's still feeling rotten. :-(

Pictures from Ryan's Birthday

2011-08-27T22:18:00.000-05:00

On Ryan's birthday we had a small celebration with his parents. Ryan and his dad grilled some yummy steaks while Grandma prepared a yummy selection of side dishes. Ryan requested gluten free brownies and homemade whipped cream instead of cake! Yummy! For his birthday I gave him a few things- a Prince Royce cd, a shirt, and two tickets to a football game!

My Birthday

2011-08-27T14:25:00.001-05:00

My 29th birthday was last Tuesday! One more year until I'm 30. Or maybe I'll be 29 again... Hmm...

We started the day with a trip to the pediatrician. All three of my children are battling this tummy bug/runny nose thing, and since Jack was the only one with a fever for several days in a row I decided to take him in. The doctor recommended some a probiotic I hadn't heard about before, called Florastor, for all three kiddos, to hopefully clear out the bug in their guts. We have a new pediatrician now (yay!) and so far I've been happy with my two experiences there!

After this quick trip to the pediatrician (have I ever strung those words together before?) we went somewhere else... The animal shelter! For my birthday, I wanted to rescue two kitties. It had been something Ryan and I had been thinking and praying about for a few weeks, and we felt now was a good time to add two new members to our family. :-)

I had been praying to St. Francis of Assisi, patron of animals, for a few days before going to the animal shelter, asking him to pray with me that we might find the two right new kitties for our home. Before going in to the shelter the kids and I prayed again. We went to the first cat room where there were definitely some sweet kitties, but none were right. Then we browsed a few cages and I immediately fell in love with a beautiful girl and nearly fell over when I saw her name was Clare. St. Clare was a friend of St. Francis of Assisi! She purred the moment I started to pet her, I knew she was one of the kitties meant for our home. We're not going to keep her name as Clare, though I was tempted. It's too much of a human name for us, so as I was perusing saint names I found one I liked but had never heard of: Blessed Pica Bernardone. I clicked on her profile and low and behold, she is the mother of St. Francis! I kid you not. So this girl will be called Pica, and it's so perfect for her because she's so tiny and petite! She's about a year old and only 6 pounds!

We continued browsing the cats (there were so many, it broke my heart) and picked out a young tabby, he's about 4 months old. We knew our boy kitty would be named Bosco, after St. John Bosco. We've had his name picked out for years!

It took a few minutes to complete the paperwork to bring Pica and Bosco home with us. The kids were so excited to have the kitties come home with us, but the kitties went into the master bedroom so the kids could eat lunch and have their rest time. I knew it would be a long process of getting Finley used to the cats, so they are living in our bedroom until Finley loses interest in them, and keeping them in there also allows me to keep a close eye on how the kids are treating the cats. We are teaching them to be gentle and sweet, but I am pretty sure Luke and Bosco are going to be best buds! They're both rambunctious and hyper, so when Luke swings the feathered toy around Bosco goes crazy trying to catch it, and then Luke bursts into laughter!

After rest time, Beth and Luke helped me make a birthday cake, then we went to dinner at BJ's, a restaurant that has yummy gluten-free pizza. After dinner we came home and opened my presents- I had already gone shopping for myself so I sort knew what was in the bags! Ryan also bought me a nursing necklace that I had been wanting. It's just a pretty necklace that's made very well so that Jack can play with it while he's nursing (instead of pull my hair or my lips). I wish I had gotten one of these a long time ago, it's cute and Jack loves it! Beth and Luke also made me some lovely homemade cards!

Bosco

Pica

I finished off the day by cuddling with my new kitties, and so far we're really happy with our decision to add them to our family. At this point I feel like extra cats is nothing, our house is so big and already to busy and chaotic that I've hardly noticed them! I hope that Finley will be accepting of them soon, I'm continuing to ask for the intervention of St. Francis in the lives of our animals!

STL/KC Trip, Part Three

2011-08-24T22:42:00.000-05:00

Our trip back to Kansas City was a rough drive, though it started off smoothly. About halfway through we noticed another amazing storm rolling in right dead-straight in front of us. It rained so hard, so many people pulled over but Ryan trekked through at a steady 30 mph. After the rain slowed, traffic came to a standstill. There must have been an accident or something because we were parked on the highway for about 45 minutes. Not so much fun.

We finally got there and had quite a reunion...Okay not so much. Us adults were happy to see each other but the kids took awhile to warm up to each other. The next day was so much fun though! Luke and Colin were able to play together for the first time (Colin is about 6 months older than Luke, Grace is about 6 months older than Beth). The age gaps weren't so obvious anymore.

It just so happened that all three girls had the same exact dress!

A neat thing about this trip was that our hosts were staying in a rental condo, and all of the furniture belonged to the condo, so we didn't have to be too concerned about six rowdy children jumping on beds or couches. :-)

Monday afternoon we went to a local children's museum and let the kids play. It was way cooler than our local museum and FREE. Very cool.

Luke, future surgeon

Beth too?

Monday night we went out to eat at a restaurant called T-Rex. It's like Rainforest Cafe but all dinosaurs! We sat under a giant jellyfish in a booth and the kids took pictures with the dinosaurs. I knew this place was owned by Disney and I've heard very good things about Disney restaurants being very accommodating with special diets, so after a call and a visit with the chef Beth had some gluten-free chicken nuggets cooked up special for her by the chef!

Katie curled Beth and Grace's hair before we left. Mine too but it wasn't as cute!

Jack in his high chair at the restaurant, Ryan gave all of the boys faux-hawks.

The only photo we have of all 10 of us!

That night we put the kids to bed early and us adults had a few drinks and played some games. We had a very fun night, reminiscent of our Punta Cana trip!

Tuesday we stayed home in the morning and let the kids play and run around like crazy people while Pat went to work and the other three adults, umm, recovered from the night before (we stayed up too late!). After lunch we took everyone to a cool farm place (also free!) which had a lot of farm animals, gardens, fishing, playground area, and other neat things. This was one of the highlights of Ryan's trip, and I'll show you why:

They had an injured Bald Eagle, who would have been unable to survive in the wild, and he is one of the only Bald Eagles in captivity in the United States! He was literally 8 feet in front of us, and Ryan was truly in awe. Of course, we had to explain what "bald" meant to Beth.

Jack liked checking out the Bald Eagle too.

Luke had fun pushing Hannah in the stroller

Grace and Beth in front of some beautiful flowers.

Checking out a buffalo

And a goat.

This guy was my favorite.

Friends Forever!

We didn't get to stay as long as we wanted to because Grace had gymnastics that night, and Beth tagged along. I was surprised at how well she did with balancing, she doesn't exactly have the most coordinated mother! She liked it a lot but told me she liked ballet better!

On Wednesday Pat was able to stay home from work so we decided to stay an extra day and leave Thursday morning. We stayed home during the day and enjoyed the field behind their condo, Ryan and Pat organized a group game of baseball so all the kids could get outside and play!


Well, Jack decided to pick up rocks and put them in a cup instead.

Katie had to work Wednesday night so we didn't get to hang out much that evening, but we wanted to go to bed early to prepare for the next day's long trip. Thursday morning we woke up, had breakfast and loaded the car, and left a bit before 9 am. A quick stop for coffee and we were on our way!

We stopped for lunch sometime before the Oklahoma border. We had a packed lunch and let the kids run around some before plowing through the net 5 hours until dinner. While Ryan did most of the driving on our trip, I had that 5 hour stretch, which included all of Oklahoma and until north of Dallas. We stopped at the same Chipotle for dinner, then headed for home. We arrived around 10:30 pm. It was quite a day of driving, but not nearly as horrible as I'd anticipated!

Overall Ryan and I were very happy about the way the trip went. We were sorry that we had to leave, we would have loved to have stayed everywhere much, much longer. The good news is that we realized that, while it's a long drive, it's doable. We all survived. Everyone had so much fun meeting new people and reconnecting with old friends. Ryan and I feel like this was a trip that's hopefully opened a door to allow for a lot more travel in the future!

New Mow Mow

2011-08-21T21:59:00.000-05:00

I don't think anyone really understands how obsessed Luke is with lawn mowers. For half his life he's been following his father around in the backyard pushing a sad little red wagon, pretending to mow the lawn. I am a lame sad pathetic Mom and have used the excuse that, "It's good for him to use his imagination!" to excuse the fact that I haven't bought him a mow mow yet. I've been perusing resale/consignment events for a few months now and finally found one for $8. Winner. You should have seen the smile on his face when we showed it to him! Needless to say, he loves it. :-)

A Visit With Friends

2011-08-21T21:12:00.000-05:00

Last Sunday we welcomed Luke's godparents back to Texas! They left a couple of years ago to start a new path in Minnesota with the intention of it being a temporary move, so we're so happy they found there way home. :-) We drove down to see them and meet their sweet, precious little Joseph Michael. We're so happy y'all are back!!!

Birthday Boy

2011-08-19T14:20:00.000-05:00

Happy birthday my love, 31 years old today! You know that we love you! What a blessing you've been to me, every day I'm baffled that God made us perfectly for each other. Here's to many many many many many many more years of happiness and love in our home!

STL/KC Trip, Part Two

2011-08-16T14:45:00.000-05:00

Part two of my story begins at the wedding rehearsal. Ryan chased the boys around the back of the church while I watched and helped Beth rehearse her big walk down the aisle. We waited for awhile for the rehersal to actually start so of course I snapped lots of photos of Beth.

She rehearsed beautifully, then everyone went to a nearby restaurant for dinner. Dinner was... interesting, as it always is with three children in a restaurant. At night. After bedtime. We skipped out a little early since we knew they needed to get to bed (and we were sure no one would actually get to hear the toasts if we stayed), and drove back to my friend's house to hurry the children to bed. Ryan and I were exhausted also and hoped we'd actually get to bed before 11pm that night.

Well, we did get to bed early. But somewhere along the way, our children got sick. Very, very sick. Luke started the ordeal an hour and a half after we went to bed, crying and waking up with a dirty diaper (which he hasn't done since he was 8 months old or so). I cleaned him and put him back to bed, but it happened again. And again. I think the third or fourth time there was projectile vomit involved, which by this time I actually found rather funny (poor Ryan didn't think so, as he was the one vomited on!). I had to scramble around the house at 2 am or something to find carpet cleaner, paper towels (there were none), old towels to use as rags, in a house that was foreign to me while the owners were away. We finally got Luke taken care of and the carpet cleaned (I think he vomited again before he went to bed), and maybe an hour after that it hit Beth. I'll spare you the details because her story looks similar to Luke's only she made it to the actual toilet for most of her issues. I probably don't need to say it, but Ryan and I didn't sleep much that night.

Jack only had a couple of nasty dirty diapers in the morning, he was spared the barf.

After the rough night we were all exhausted, and wondering if we would even make it to the wedding. It was a hard thing to consider since we'd driven so far to be there and Beth was very much looking forward to being the flower girl! Thankfully, whatever it was mostly went away, Beth and Jack were fine and Luke was sick off-and-on for the rest of our trip, but not so sick that he couldn't attend the festivities.

I took Beth to the church to get ready and the boys met us there before the wedding actually started. Beth had a wonderful time getting ready with the big girls! She nailed that walk down the aisle, though she ran out of petals about 1/3 of the way down, shrugged her shoulders and turned her basket over to show everyone it was empty, then strutted down the rest of the way looking quite cute.

my studly godson, isn't he handsome?

bride and groom, ryan's cousin and new cousin-in-law

Most of the rest of the day Beth wanted to be by the bridesmaids and wanted nothing to do with the rest of us! She loved the gig and is asking me when she can be a flower girl again. Hmm...

At the reception that evening, we had a nice dinner and I have to say that my children surprised me. Since it was late evening I thought the boys would pass out but nooo... Of course our children, along with cousin Christopher, were the first four people on the dance floor, and they cut a rug that put their dancing father to shame! I tried in vain to take a video, but it didn't work because it was too dark. Beth danced with the bride, bridesmaids, Daddy, and many other people. Luke did his own thing, and cracked us all up with his new signature move- grabbing his pants at the top of his legs, pulling them up slightly, and shaking his booty. Jack ran around in circles, danced by bobbing his head and bending his knees, and did a few headstands. I don't know if anyone knows this but Ryan's favorite part of wedding receptions is being able to dance with his children, especially Beth.

The night ended with them all eventually passing out before we actually left, but they gave it a good effort to hang in there as long as possible!

The next day we drove back to go to mass with Ryan's grandpa and say our goodbyes to everyone. We had planned on attending the family barbecue but it was pushed back a few hours and we had to hit the road to make it back to Kansas City before dinnertime.

Uncle Jeff, visiting from Taiwan. Beth said he was the silliest uncle of all!

Great Grandpa Paul- Ryan's grandfather, and one of the men our Jackson Paul is named for

Ryan's Uncle John

poor luke was a little tired, rolling around on the floor with a truck.

We wished we could have stayed in St. Louis a little longer but we had a whole other adventure waiting for us in Kansas City! Part Three coming soon...

STL/KC Trip, Part One.

2011-08-13T21:22:00.000-05:00

Our family had a completely new adventure last week, one we'd been anticipating for months and months: a drive to St. Louis to attend Ryan's cousin's wedding and so Beth could be their flower girl.

Yes, I said drive. Flying was out of the question for so many reasons, so Ryan and I were preparing for this drive for months. Luckily we were able to break it up and stop over night in Kansas City on the way there, but if you don't know it's still 12 hours in the car to KC!

stuffed like sardines.

Ryan and I had been preparing for this trip for months. We equipped ourselves with new library books, old standby favorite books, flashcards on a ring, new toys including a Leap Pad for Beth, homemade activity binders with crayons, colored pencils, paper, stencils, stickers, and activity books hole-punched into the binder. And two DVD screens. Yes, I'm not ever going on a long trip without DVD screens, what an amazing invention and I'm so happy we had these screens! Lifesaver.

very hot, but he's happy to be out of his car seat!

We left after lunchtime on Wednesday, August 3, hoping that the boys would nap in the car for an hour or two. They did, so the first stop we made was north of Dallas for an early dinner. We stopped at Chipotle (which is gluten free, by the way- everything except the flour tortillas!) and let the kids run around in their outdoor eating area for about 20 minutes in the 114 degree heat.

welcome to oklahoma, ha ha! my first time to oklahoma.

A few more hours in the car and we stopped at a rest area to change the kids into pajamas and run around a bit before "bedtime." It was nearing dark and we wanted to get them in a bedtime mindset and hoped that pajamas would do the trick. Well, it sort of worked...

ryan has made so much fun of oklahoma that i was expecting tumbleweeds on the side of the road. it was actually quite pretty!

The last we heard out of Luke was probably a little before 10 pm. Poor Jack cried off and on all night, but I'm convinced this was in-part due to the torrential downpour of a storm we drove through for something like four hours. As we approached this storm- right on the Oklahoma/Kansas border- it was the most amazing yet intimidating lightning I'd ever seen in my life. The whole sky was lit up, and jagged streaks were crossing the sky and seemed to be hitting the ground- all 30 miles straight in front of us. I've never driven through Kansas before so all I can think about is The Wizard of Oz, and Twister- wicked witches and flying cows. Ryan was driving and kept his cool, and he drove safely at about 40 mph for quite a bit of time.

We arrived in Kansas City at about 2:00 am at Ryan's aunt and uncle's house, threw the kids in bed and passed out.

The next morning we were able to relax a little bit, visit with family, and pack up and head off after an early lunch. We wanted to be in St. Louis by about 4:00 pm to make it to the pre-wedding "Hey everyone is in town visiting let's have a party!" party. Another four hours in the car (a quick stop at a rest stop to stretch and change a stinky diaper!) and we were there, four hours seemed like a pretty quick trip after the previous day!

The kids were happy to see some familiar faces- Grandma and Grandpa! They met new faces like Great Grandpa Paul, the bride and groom, and other family members. We ate some yummy food then left at about 9 pm to drive to our next destination! My sweet friend from high school offered to let us stay at their home while we were in St. Louis, and though we were only able to visit for a little while I really enjoyed seeing her and meeting her family! It was very nice for us to be able to stay in a real house instead of a hotel, have the kids in a separate room and have a real kitchen to cook in. Unfortunately I didn't get any pictures though, I'm so bummed out about that!

Bye Bye Nuk

2011-08-12T22:04:00.001-05:00

Today we took the sides off Luke's Ikea crib and turned it into a toddler aka "big boy" bed. I feel very lucky that he's been content to sleep in a crib for this long (he's almost 3!) and that he didn't actually climb out or even try to climb out until two weeks ago. He's been very happy in his crib because that was the only place he was allowed to have his nuk!

Once he started to climb out Ryan and I brought up to him the idea of switching to a big boy bed, but told him that if he chose to sleep in a big boy bed that he'd have to say bye bye to his nuk. To my surprise, he was very enthusiastic about it!

After talking about it for a few days, today he helped Ryan disassemble the side of the crib and make up his bed. Then I asked Luke if he knew of any babies that might like to have his nuk, and he said cousin Christopher. So we put his nuk in a box, wrote Christopher's name on it, and he put it in the mailbox and waved goodbye!

Tonight I put him to bed as usual, tucked him into his big boy bed, and left his room. All seems well as he didn't come out of his room even once, and he only brought his nuk up one time, with a sly look on his face, and I reminded him it was going to Christopher. So far so good, I hope it continues to go this well! I remember switching Beth into her big girl bed and saying goodbye to her nuk was a very difficult time for both us and her, but she was younger and she moved into a bigger bed.

Playing Mass

2011-08-03T17:00:00.000-05:00

The kids have "played mass" the past few mornings. This involves flipping a table on its side, one person sitting in front of the other two, and lots of singing. I took this two minute video today of Beth singing, after I stopped filming she went on to do a reading or two. Luke mostly sang along!

When It's Not What You Thought It Would Be

2011-07-31T18:33:00.000-05:00

My childhood dream: Go to college, find a tall and handsome man to marry, and stay home with the multitude of beautiful children we'd create. We'd live in a house in the suburbs, I'd be a perfect housewife complete with delicious meals on the table every night, we'd say our prayers as a family and live a long life.

So far, my dream isn't too far from the truth! Well, the "perfect housewife" part is always a work in progress. ;-) God has blessed me in more ways than I can count, and it's unbelievable to me that He would give me all I asked.

But there are days, weeks, or sometimes even months when I think, "This can't possibly be what God had in mind when He created man and woman!"

I remember thinking that I could have this perfect little (well, big!) family. I knew I'd have to discipline children at some point, but never in a million years did I imagine motherhood would be so difficult. No one prepared me for this.

I knew motherhood was a blessing, but I didn't know there would be days when I thought it was a curse. I knew my fertility was a gift, but never did I think it was a gift I wouldn't want. I knew God had a plan for families, and that our path to heaven was best traveled together, but I didn't know that some days I'd feel certain I'd missed my calling to become a cloistered nun!

I was wondering, why didn't I realize it would be so difficult? How could I help prepare the next generation of mothers for the fact that motherhood is not all over-sized girly bows and trendy boy mohawks? More than a coordinated nursery and shelves lined with toys and books?

I wondered, if anyone had told me how much I'd be unappreciated, pushed around, ignored, or hollered at, would it have changed my mind?

Absolutely not.

The process of creating and carrying a child is the closest I've ever been to God. Actually creating a person and asking God to breath life into him... Giving my body for a person the way Jesus gave His precious body for me... serving my children and listening to the bickering and fussing the way God grants me grace when all I do is whine and complain to Him...

It's not easy, but maybe that's the way He intended it to be. Maybe the sleepless nights are meant to help us mothers grow in prayer- afterall, aren't we crying out to God to just let the baby fall asleep already? Maybe cleaning up potty accident after potty accident all day long is a way to humble ourselves. Maybe postpartum depression is our 40 days in the desert with the devil.

I hate that there are days when I truly wonder if I am fulfilling God's plan for my life, since I think surely this isn't the path for me to heaven. After all the sinning I do in a single day just staying home with my children, wouldn't I have been better off in a convent??? Then I remember... Three little souls. Three souls that were entrusted to me, no one else. Three souls that were meant for all of eternity for me. They're not in my life to make me crazy, they're not in my life on accident. God gave them to me because He know that I was the best Mother for them, in all of time and space, that I would be their one and only mother.

As I consider my advice to women about to marry and embark on motherhood, I think my best advice would be to remember those words. Serving your children will be your path to heaven, and you were always meant to be their one and only mother. There are many beautiful moments to be had in motherhood, hopefully many more than less, but even during the worst of times the Plan hasn't changed. They're still meant for you, and you're still meant for them. I think if mothers remember that, the rest somehow falls into place.

Reading

2011-07-28T16:00:00.001-05:00

I just LOVE this age. Everything that ever stressed me out while he was a baby is suddenly forgiven when he looks at me and gives me his big grin. It melts me. It makes me laugh, smile, and cry all at the same time. He walks around the house and finds me around the corner, laughs, then runs away. Best game ever.

My little 13-month-old boy. He's a reader. He loves books, maybe even more than Beth did when she was a baby. Is he a toddler now that he's walking? *sniff sniff* I don't want him to grow up!

Hot Summer Days

2011-07-26T17:00:00.004-05:00

Pirates and Cardinals

2011-07-24T21:48:00.000-05:00

No, I'm not talking about baseball teams! Our themes over the past couple of weeks have been pirates and cardinals- as in the people and the birds! We've checked out lots of pirate books, which was a completely new thing for my kids since we haven't really "done" pirates before. They were pretty tame books, and it gave us the chance to talk about stealing and other silly pirate things (like saying "Argh!" and swinging your fist!). Beth drew a pirate on her magna-doodle:

I liked it. :-) The next week we talked a lot about cardinals since every morning we watch them eat at our homemade bird feeder. We love watching the "Daddy Cardinals" and the "Mommy Cardinals," even sometimes we see a "Teenager Cardinal." We've seen them feed each other, watched the males chase each other off and dance around the backyard, and tried to give some of them names since some of them have pretty distinguishing markings (like Baldy, who is missing some feathers on top of his head!).

Not sure who this guy was, he looks young but not like a young cardinal?

We watched some youtube videos of birds feeding their young, babies hatching from eggs, and an older male feeding a younger bird. We checked out lots of books on birds and chickens, and here is the drawing Beth did of a Daddy and two babies:

(I didn't have the heart to mention they didn't have beaks, I think the Daddy's big smile makes up for his lack of a beak!)

This week we're going to study some geography! We have friends and family all over the country, a giant United States puzzle that Beth is really great at (I'm pretty sure she knows where the states go better than I do), and we're going to talk about good behavior on road trips. ;-)

Around Our House

2011-07-21T12:59:00.001-05:00

I have so many projects I want to do around my house, I feel like I'm getting antsy! Maybe writing it down here will help me organize my thoughts, and maybe I can get some good ideas from y'all. :-)

We have our recessed lights and two pendants installed in our kitchen, they've been completed for a month or so now and it's so nice having light in the kitchen! The next step won't come for awhile, since it's an expensive step- moving the plumbing, new countertops, new backsplash. Like, probably not until next year. Honestly it's probably a good thing that we have to wait because I still don't feel like I'm completely sure of what I want to do in my kitchen. I haven't really defined my "style" yet, and I flip-flop between a Mediterranean feel and a contemporary country feel. I think I'd be happy with either style, really, but of course I have to consider the flow of the rest of the house!

Here are a couple of pictures of styles I really like:

This is from the tv show "Modern Family." I love their house, love love love. I think it'd work really well for us too because we already have a lot of the colors incorporated in our house, especially in a big painting we have in our kitchen, which is what we were originally using for inspiration. Blues, golds, crimson, and splashes of green.

But, then there's this:

Generally I like color. I like a good, strong color on the wall, complimentary colors that pop, and I'm really leaning toward marble countertops in the kitchen and dark wood floors... But my kitchen is not huge, and there's really not much rearranging of appliances that I can do. I'm trying to figure out how to move my fridge over about 2.5 feet, making a little desk space in the corner and allowing me to actually open my freezer door all of the way (instead of hitting the wall). I'd lose some valuable countertop space though, but I'd gain a much-needed workspace (right now my laptop has no home). We can't fit a real built-in island but we could fit a free-standing workspace that was long and thin, I'd love to find an antique to refinish and repurpose for this use!

Another thing I'm antsy about is updating some of the pictures around our house and moving frames around over our staircase. I know that doesn't seem like a huge project but I've been wanting to do this for months! I ordered some pictures from Shutterfly last night so hopefully these new pictures will get the ball rolling on this project.

Our bedroom needs some work, we moved the furniture around a few months ago and still haven't hung anything up on the walls! I keep thinking we'll get around to paining it (we've had a can of paint in the garage since we moved in!) but it just hasn't happened. Then there's the carpet on our bathroom floor...

I know it sounds like I'm complaining but that's really not my intention! I'm excited that we're in the home we plan to stay in for a looooong time, and that we're going to be able to tailor it to fit our needs and styles. It's going to be a long process but I'm okay with that, and I'm going to soak it in and enjoy every step of the journey! I miss doing our little "weekend projects" that we did most of last summer, but now that Jack's walking around I think (hope!) things might get a little easier with the kiddos so maybe we can start some work again. I'm just the type of person that likes to stay busy (hmm, Dad, sound familiar?).

Our first project up is building a workbench for our garage! This was my anniversary gift to Ryan, I picked an online plan for a workbench and went to Home Depot and bought everything we needed to build the workbench together. This will be the foundation of all our other projects, hopefully. ;-)

Jack Plays Peek-A-Boo

2011-07-19T18:45:00.002-05:00

Beach Photos

2011-07-15T13:57:00.000-05:00

On Sunday the 10th, we drove to the beach for a quick day trip. (I was having withdrawals since my family was on their annual trip, and we couldn't make it this year!) We packed up food, a blue pop-up tent, fresh water, a change of clothes, and toys galore!

Beth and Luke were the perfect age for the beach. No worries about seaweed, sand or saltwater, just lots of giggles even when a wave knocked them down. We built sand castles, let the wind blow bubbles through our wands, flew kites, ate and drank a lot, played on a blow-up lounger, and went out in the "deep" water with Daddy to jump the waves. Jack made us laugh because we kept him under the tent as much as possible, but every so often he'd take off crawling toward the water, and even once he got in the water he'd just keep going! I wonder where he thought he was going? He absolutely loved the water!

I only took a few pictures because I wanted to focus on being wholly present with the kids- ever notice how when you're behind the camera you miss the action?

Lame

2011-07-15T09:47:00.000-05:00

Wow, so I'm down to blogging once a week now? Pretty sad! Since I've launched my new business as a doula, I now have to divide my available evening time between my personal blog and my work blog. That, in addition to my evening workouts (I go to the gym at night after the kids go to bed so I don't have to put them in the daycare), chores, and just relaxing with my husband means my blog is the first thing to go!

This summer has been so busy! We haven't traveled much in July, one long weekend to Grandma and Grandpa's house for the 4th of July, but we've stayed BUSY BUSY BUSY! We've had so many playdates, library trips, catching up with old friends, and a daytrip to the beach! In fact, today is the first day we have plans to stay home and do absolutely nothing. Well, one little errand to get ready for our anniversary tomorrow. :-)

A few things, in summary...

Beth is reading! I mean, she's been reading short words for awhile now, but I think she's starting to feel more confident in her skills. We've been doing lessons from Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons, and it really gets them reading quickly. She's also begging me for a dollhouse, it seems that every playdate we go on there's a big gorgeous dollhouse, and Beth notices! Her birthday is so far away so I've started keeping my eyes on Craigslist.

Luke talks ALL THE TIME. He's been talking well for months now, but he narrates his every move throughout the day. It's funny but my house is definitely never quiet! He's also making observations that crack us up, usually once or twice a day he'll make me literally laugh out loud at the silly stuff he says. (I wish I had an example but I'm braindead right now.) He's also starting to express fears, which is different. I don't remember Beth ever being afraid of anything, but Luke will tell me about the things he doesn't like, like the shadows in his bedroom at night or Swiper the sneaky fox! He's also giving us lots of attitude, and his temper escalates quite quickly if he's not getting his way. There's lots of yelling "No!" "I don't want to!" or "No Ma'am Mommy!" He slaps his thighs in anger and I try to lighten the mood by asking him if he's singing "A Sailor Went to Sea" because in that song you slap your thighs to the words. That usually gets him laughing!

Jack is walking very well now, by the end of every days he's walking just as much as he is crawling! I'm also trying to teach him to "woof" like a doggy, but he's still not talking yet. He babbles and chats a lot, but no Mama or Dada yet, not meaningful anyway. He will say woof though! He's also very passionate, getting angry if one of his older siblings steals his toy away!

Ryan and I are just busy. Tomorrow is our 6th wedding anniversary! We'll be staying home since our "babysitters" are out of town, enjoying some take-out fajitas after the kids go to bed! Ryan's job is still wonderful, and tonight I have my first meeting with a potential client who found me through Google. That makes me happy. :-) We've nearly completed Phase 1 of our kitchen renovation, which was lighting. The new lights are in but the contractor we hired to do it all hasn't done a very good job of texturing the patch from the old light, and has sort of disappeared on us, not returning our calls. :-/ Needless to say, we'll be hiring someone else for Phase 2, which won't be happening for a long time!

Sadly, I have no photos to share right now as I haven't uploaded any since Independence Day! Would you believe me if I said I'd try to upload them soon? Ha!

Creating Art

2011-07-09T20:55:00.001-05:00

Finger paints on canvas, created by Beth and Luke for Daddy's new office.

Chilling

2011-07-05T20:14:00.001-05:00

Recently, I've been making honest efforts to become more relaxed about life. I tend to be a very Type A perfectionist and it's just not such a good thing. It's not all bad, but as I've gotten older and added more children to the family I think in some ways it's gotten worse!

So, I'm slowly trying to let go of the little things. I let them play in the fountains a few days ago after a quick outing near our local mall. I knew I had no towels, no sippy cups full of cold water, no change of clothes. But, to my surprise, we survived! Best of all, the kids had a blast and were so excited to go.

One day last week, I took all three to daily mass alone. Yes, there was noise and chaos, and I almost lost my temper once, but then I took a deep breath and remembered- they're kids. It's okay for them to not sit still. (And people who want to pay attention should know better than to sit in the back behind a pew full of babies!)

Other things happen like drinks spilling, (expensive) lunches tossed on the floor, clothes get stained, and I go to bed too late. It happens, and so far my effort to chill out I know has lowered my blood pressure at least a little bit. ;-) I know they're watching my every move, learning from me how to handle the world. It's a lot of pressure for me on some days, especially when I fail miserably at being a mom, wife, woman, or Christian. But some days I do a pretty darn good job, and I'm proud of that!

Mornings Outside

2011-07-02T17:00:00.001-05:00

Usually mornings are a challenge for me- the frantic rush to pour orange juice and water, heat frozen waffles or oatmeal, mix baby cereal and fruit, and serve everything at once so I can sit and feed Jack...Not to forget my coffee. Usually there's quite a bit of noise as everyone is absolutely famished, ha!

The past two mornings have been a little different though. Instead of eating right away, we went outside to water the plants. Everyone is always happy outside, and at 7:30 am in the shade, it's cool enough to actually enjoy being outside! With three kids on the porch, I was able to set up my coffee, pour orange juice and grab muffins for everyone to eat outside at the table... No worries about crumbs, no whining about more syrup, no questions about "What are we going to do today?!" Instead, we talked about the planes we heard overhead, the lawn mower sounds in the distance, we watched the deer eat grass and searched the woods for the fawn, discussed what "humid" means and why there was dew on the grass.

We came in about 8:30 because they wanted to, and since they'd had breakfast and started our day off on the right foot, everyone was in a great mood, and I was able to sit down and have my own bowl of oatmeal. Alone. Nice. :-)

Jack's Birthday Party

2011-07-01T14:12:00.001-05:00

His cake, made by me! The "dirt" was a cake that I destroyed by trying to flip it before it cooled off, so I crumbled it up and put fake bugs in it! I don't recall telling anyone I was making a "Very Hungry Caterpillar" cake, but Jack received a lot of Eric Carle books as presents, including a copy of this book which we didn't own!

Singing "Happy Birthday" to Jack, he didn't seem to care much. :-) I think he remembered the chocolate cupcake from the night before and was just waiting to get into the cake!

A family photo, maybe someone captured one from a different angle?

Mmm, there's some cake! Thanks Grandma!

We had a bug-themed party, the kids got to choose if they wanted a fake tattoo or not. Luke opted for a lizard.

And Beth a ladybug, most of the girls chose ladybugs or butterflies!

After everyone left, Jack opened a gift (with plenty of help) from Grandma and Grandpa, a dump truck with blocks!

A cool new toy to push around!

Jack's party was lots of fun, I think we had over 20 kids in attendance! It was bug-themed, with a bug hunt for fake bugs (and one real one, ick), a bug banner to decorate, tattoos, and of course cake and ice cream! I gave out real ladybugs as party favors, hopefully they all made it home and outside onto the plants that night! Jack received lots of gifts, mostly books and bath toys, two things we can always use more of! Thank you to everyone who came to help us celebrate our big boy's birthday!

Happy Birthday Jackson Paul

2011-06-26T22:21:00.000-05:00

(A couple of days late... His birthday was Friday, June 24!)

Oh my little Jack Jack, happy birthday!

Every single person you ever meet, even strangers in the store, always comment on how smile-y of a baby you are! You never fail to give a huge, toothy grin on anyone who gives you a smile first, and you melt hearts! You were also known as the giver of baby fever for awhile; anyone who held you told me that you made them want another precious baby of their own! I think it was a combination of your smile, long eyelashes, and delicious chubby legs.

Your favorite games right now are knocking over block towers, tearing papers into tiny shreds, rolling cars around saying, "Ptthhhhh," and crawling into Finley's crate. You are also completely obsessed with electrical cords and outlets! Whenever we bring out the vacuum cleaner or opens the door to go outside, you turn on your "turbo crawl" and make a very excited shrieking sound!

You are walking but only when we coax you too, I think at this point you know you're much faster in a crawl and you're all about speed and efficiency (starting with my labor and your birth!). You love crawling up the staircase and are pretty quick about it, I'm so happy that you realize how to go down safely now but of course I don't let you near it without me!

Every morning when we go into Luke's room together to get him out of his crib, you practically dive out of my arms and into his crib, you love cuddling with him and bouncing together on his mattress. I think your world revolves around your admiration for your big sister and big brother (and nursing, of course), and I love watching all three of you play nicely together! But occasionally big brother will steal a toy away from you and you howl so loudly! You're definitely starting to realize that you can play independently and prefer not to be interrupted!

You eat so much, nurse all throughout the day, sleep pretty well at night (although we wish you'd sleep beyond 6am!), and nap twice a day still. You love bath time, riding on Mommy's back in my sling, and cruising around "trolling" for things to pick up off the floor to eat. It's gross, but I figure you're building your immune system.:-)

For your first birthday, we stayed home. After breakfast your sister and brother played with you by building block towers for you to knock over, which you thought was very funny. Mommy had to leave to go help another Mommy in labor, so Daddy came home and spent the rest of the morning and afternoon playing fun games with you and Beth and Luke. In the afternoon, Mommy came back and we played outside before enjoying a yummy lasagna dinner, presents, and your very first chocolate cupcake.

You loved the cupcake! For birthday presents, Mommy and Daddy bought you some shoes, a Leapfrog Caterpillar toy, and we made your bedroom pretty. We decided that since you'll probably be sleeping in your own room for a couple of years that you should have more than just the extra random furniture pieces laying around the house, and now you have an Americana/Nautical boyish room. It's perfectly cute and I know you just love it (lol).

Happy birthday, my love, I can't wait to see what your second year has in store for you!!!