2. I've been in a bit of a funk this week. I think it's hormonal (isn't it always?) but I'm always attacked with the same feeling that I'm only worth what I can do. That I'm only liked because of what I offer, and when I step back and stop offering then I stop being worthwhile. And even though I'm assured otherwise, and even though I know it's just Satan whispering lies and twisting reality into something horrible, it's a few days in the month when I just sort of have to pull back from everything and shut down. I hate it but I also know that it's my reality and this is how I have to cope.
3. The good thing about "shutting down" everything is that we can just do whatever we want and need to do. Hence, spending those last few "leisurely summer days" in the truest sense of the words.
4. I've been exploring the idea of "leisure" as I read Souls at Rest by Charlotte Ostermann. She explains that the only way we will achieve true leisure as God intended is by honoring the Sabbath.
"Sabbath is the cure for the ills caused by neglect of God, by distracting busyness, by impatient haste, by the assault of noise and by running away from who we truly are."Distracting busyness? Assault of noise? Didn't I recently complain of noise and being too busy? Clearly I need me some Sabbath.
"God created this day of rest for you, for human beings, so to find out what makes it holy, we must look at what makes people whole."What makes me whole? Who am I, truly? God knows my life, my virtue, my vices. He already knows. Yet I still find it hard to feel loved and accepted for me, just the way I am.
Maybe through reading this book I'll have a better understanding of Sabbath rest, and I'll be able to come to know rest the way God intends for me. Maybe that will help. I know that I don't keep the Sabbath holy in the way that I probably should, because honestly it would add more work to the other days of the week, and that is daunting to me.
5. One thing I do know is that I am loved unconditionally by this man. And through his love I know that God loves me. I posted on Instagram, " I am much loved by God through my husband. Our marriage has helped me understand just how much our Heavenly Father loves me, and Ryan reflects His love to me and our children daily."
6. I'm wrapping up my lesson planning (more like "rough outline") of our 2015-2016, and I hope to do a more thorough post on it later. Books, papers, calendars and schedules have been littering my desk for a week now. With wisdom gleaned from podcasts, books, and blogs, I have scheduled six terms using a block schedule. Not very Charlotte Mason of me, but I'm having to adapt to three school-aged children and one very busy toddler! I have great hopes that this year will go well with the new schedule in place; it will allow us to do less subjects daily but cover more material through the year. Multum non multa, right?
7. I've pre-ordered Sarah Mackenzie's Teaching From Rest and can't wait to read it, as I just adore her and everything she does. She always breathes new life into my day and her podcasts are always so inspiring! I know she will have many new thoughts and ideas for me to ponder! Preemeptively, I'm also building in a time of rest for me, too, to re-evaluate life and plans as needed and bring it all together. A "teacher work day," of sorts- but hopefully at a coffee shop with my laptop and some encouraging books. This idea was from an amazing podcast, but I have no idea when I listened to it and can't figure out which podcast it was from! Sorry! It's not a new idea but it will be new for me.