Sunday, July 22

A New Chapter

It's been a little over a week since the last time Jack and I nursed, I think his last day was July 11.  I've been dreading this time for months now, for several reasons.

I am a big believer in baby-led weaning, and I had no desire to stop nursing Jack.  Yes, it would get a little frustrating that every time I would sit down his little radar would go off and he'd immediately find me and jump into my lap, but it wasn't frustrating enough to wean.  Even at 2 years old, he was still receiving health benefits from my milk, and it was comforting for me to know that on a night when he didn't eat any dinner because his new molars were hurting, he'd still be nourished from me.  Plus, we had special cuddle time every morning in bed... He'd play with my hair and we'd both doze in and out of sleep while he nursed. 

But on the morning of the 12th, Jack slept in until 8:40 am.  That's about 2 hours later than usual!  He woke up and immediately sat down to breakfast, and so we didn't nurse.  The rest of the day we were very busy and he never asked, by the time he went to bed that night I decided that it was a good opportunity for us to wean.  The next day he asked to nurse and I quickly changed the subject and distracted him with something else... This went on for a week.  He was very sad, and it was really hard for me to tell him that he couldn't have Mommy's nursies anymore. :-(  I nearly gave in several times because it's been very hard emotionally for him as well.  He hasn't asked for the past two days,so I think we're on the other side of things now.

The reason I decided to take the opportunity wasn't because I wanted to, but because I felt like it was my last ditch effort to help me feel "normal" again.  I have been pregnant and/or breastfeeding since April of 2006, and today I calculated I've breastfeed my babies for a total of over 4 years.  My hormones have taken quite a beating, and despite my attempts at trying to stabilize my moods naturally I still don't feel quite like I did before I had babies.  Since I chart my fertility and am really observant about how I am feeling and when I'm feeling that way, and since I have had my hormones tested, I know that it's a progesterone issue.  The supplements I've taken (B complex, additional B6, and St. John's Wort) have definitely helped!  But I felt like I weaning was my last chance.

So Jack Jack and I had two beautiful years, and I am so grateful for that.  Jack and I were so blessed.  I guess now it's time for us to move on to a new chapter in our lives, and hopefully my body will be able to figure things out sooner rather than later! 

1 comment:

ashley said...

impressive run. 4 years of breastfeeding is awesome!

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