Saturday, May 12

Jack's Baby

Over the past few weeks my nursing relationship has changed with Jack.  We've gone from nursing 6-8 times a day- which was really wearing on me because I couldn't even sit down without him wanting to nurse- to nursing about once a day now.  My absence from him during our trip to Vegas left him unsure about continuing nursing, but once he picked it back up again we were both just fine, nursing 3-4 times a day.  That seemed to work really well for both of us.

Somehow over the past couple of weeks, he's stopped asking to nurse during the day, so we're basically down to once a day, right when he wakes up in the morning and we lay in bed and cuddle.  I've had mixed feelings over the whole thing.  I'm happy to just be able to sit down and have him sit next to me, but I truly miss the cuddling and sweetness of nursing him.  The way he'd fiddle with my hair, stick his toes in my face, and look up at me and smile between gulps.  Sweet, sweet moments.

As he's stopped asking to nurse so much, he's also picked up a new friend along the way.  He had been carrying around some Beth and Luke's baby dolls, either Winnie-the-Pooh, Eric (the small doll) or Ariel (the bigger one).  He loved carrying Ariel around and refused to put her down, so the doll laid on the table next to his plate (she had to be within reach- definitely not on the next chair over) and slept with him in his crib.  Well, if you've seen this doll, she's about the size of a 4-month-old, so when I carried Jack I carried this doll too.  I decided it was time for Jack to have his own baby doll, so when I gave her to him on Thursday morning he pretty much hasn't put her down since.  He gets very distraught if he realizes she's not next to him.

I am sure that somehow these two things are related.  It's almost like he's letting go of me and finding someone new to spend his time with!  I know it's not quite like that but it's very bittersweet to be letting go of our nursing relationship.  This is the longest I've nursed any of my babies and, not knowing for sure if I'll nurse any more, it's hard to think that we're coming to the end of this road.  I know he's received so many health benefits from nursing but beyond that we've created a bond that I haven't been able to share with Beth or Luke in quite the same way.  He's my little baby and I'm not sure I'm ready for him to grow up yet!

1 comment:

Julie said...

That is about how often Eva is nursing now and she always wants to right when she wakes up in the morning. I so love the morning cuddles while we are both waking up!

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